Monday, January 14, 2008

Decrazification is a Must

Stop me if you've heard this one before: Girl meets guy. Girl likes guy and guy seems to like girl. Girl gets drunk and acts kind of goofy and sleeps with guy on the second date. Then girl begins to panic that guy might blow her off. Guy senses panic. Girl gets drunk again and says more weird stuff she shouldn't say. Guy gets completely freaked out. He tells her they're not right for each other. Girl says okay then proceeds to call/email/or text him like he didn't just break it off with her.

Girl: Get a clue!!!

Okay, okay maybe that's too harsh. We've all probably been through this cycle or some iteration of it. When we're not feeling as secure as we should, it's quite easy to fall into the needy trap. And if you throw in the he's-not-interested challenge, you may want to try even harder to hold onto the boy. But come on, ladies, let's have a little self respect!

First of all, if you're going to get drunk, at least try to keep your verbal filter intact. Secondly, don't go sleeping with him on the first or second date unless you've been corresponding with him online for the last 10 months and you've already decided you're enamored with each others beautiful-on-the-insides. And finally, if you happen to break the first two rules, stay cool! Don't get all single white female on him and chase him around like you're the dogcatcher and he's the city's most wanted pit bull. A wise man once told me, "If someone is chasing you, your natural instinct is to run away." Duh! Guys don't dig girls who chase. So if he tells you he A. needs space B. is seeing other people C. doesn't want to see you anymore, DO NOT call/text/email him unless he contacts you first.

Doing so is just crazy. And we don't need to perpetuate the stereotype that our whole gender is crazy. Now put down the cell phone and go read He's Just Not that Into You. If he doesn't want to be with you, you shouldn't want to be with him either. Amen.

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