Thursday, February 21, 2008

Signs, Signs Everywhere

Yesterday when I was driving to work along the pock-filled asphalt of La Tuna Canyon Road, I noticed a sign I'd never seen before. It was tacked to a telephone pole, right there in the middle of suburbia, and read (in drippy red spray paint) "Slow Down Asshole."

Knowing how rushed the traffic can get on that stretch of road, I had to laugh that someone took the liberty of posting their own speed limit warning. Then I started wondering if maybe that was another kind of sign—you know, like from the universe. Maybe the big man upstairs was trying to tell me or one of my fellow motorists to slow down in another aspect of our lives.

This, of course, made me want to look for even more signs, so here goes...

Sign you should obey your boss
He hands you a fortune cookie after a department lunch and you say, "No way, man, I want to pick my own—this is my future we're talking about." You pick another cookie, crack it open and nothing falls out. It's empty.

Sign you should listen to your sister
She says, "I just don't feel like he's the right fit for you. You guys seem to fight a lot." You ignore her and find out 9 months later that he cheated on you with a married ex-girlfriend.

Sign you're growing up
You run in to your dad's best pal at In 'N' Out Burger. Instead of introducing you to his lunch partner as his "surrogate daughter," he jokingly introduces you as his girlfriend. And then his buddy says, "Do you have a sister?"

Sign you need a vacation
You find out your company could be taken over by an evil empire competitor. Then you get word that you'll be given 6 months severance and benefits if the merger should cause you to lose your job. Instead of thinking, "Thank goodness! That will give me plenty of time to find something else," you think, "Sweet! I can totally go travel across Europe for 2 months!"

Sign that he's a keeper
You've just come out of a movie and mention that you're very thirsty. He says, "Want me to buy you a bottle of water from that vending machine?" "No," you say, "it's fine, I have some in my car." He pulls out his wallet and says, "I'm thirsty too, I'll just buy one and you can have a few sips." Then he dashes to the vending machine, comes back, opens the bottle and hands it to you.

Your turn—share with me some of the signs you've seen in the past few weeks!

4 comments:

-Guy said...

Signs you're gushing too much, forcing readers to throw-up slightly in their mouth

"Sign that he's a keeper
You've just come out of a movie and mention that you're very thirsty. He says, "Want me to buy you a bottle of water from that vending machine?" "No," you say, "it's fine, I have some in my car." He pulls out his wallet and says, "I'm thirsty too, I'll just buy one and you can have a few sips." Then he dashes to the vending machine, comes back, opens the bottle and hands it to you."

PoopyPants said...

I think it's okay to gush a little, especially since you didn't listen to the big sister and had to suffer through that relationship.

Signs you are drinking to many Starbuck's Mochas...

The scale has risen two pounds in a week!

Laura said...

Signs you've had too many vodka tonics.....

The cell phone comes out and well, you know the rest of the story...

Big Sister said...

I am so touched that you have acknowledged your Big Sister's intuition and insight publicly! I'd much rather have "-guy" throw up in his mouth in having to hear about Mr. Wonderful, than me throwing up in my mouth about Mr. Cheater.