Monday, February 4, 2008

The Sneeze Test

If you've seen the movie Singles, you probably remember that by the end of it, Bridget Fonda's character scales her list of desired man traits down to just one thing: Does he say God bless you when she sneezes?

It may seem insignificant, but it's actually a terrific measure of a man's consideration for a woman (or anyone, for that matter). It's a little thing that requires minimal effort, yet some people just don't say it. And for that, they suck.

I was chatting with a friend over the weekend and she brought up the fact that her guy has been ignoring her sneezes. She didn't even remember this issue from the movie, just noticed her ah-choos were going unblessed—even when she said bless you to him. Totally unacceptable. I told her to run him through bootcamp and testing:
  1. Tease him a little for not saying b.y. and hope he gets the clue.
  2. If she doesn't happen to have a real sneeze handy in his presence, throw out a fakie. Nothing elaborate, just a small, quiet one while the two of them are watching a movie.
  3. If he continues eating his popcorn without saying a word, he's OUT. Now she may really, really like him, so she could try for 2 out of 3, but I think he should be saying it without prompting from day one.
  4. Consider faking sneezes on all first dates from that point forward to find out early in the relationship.
The one guy I dated who didn't say bless you turned out to be a complete disaster. So although this rule may seem silly, I think there is value and truth to it. And for those of you who read my posts regularly, YES, The All Might Wonderful does say bless you. Even more than once when there are a series of sneezes...


Laura said...

the real test is what he says after you sneeze and a fart accidentally slips out.

Big Sister said...

Or, with our family history, when you sneeze, and your bladder releases it's contents. Does he offer you a blow dryer? Does he spill a drink on his lap to make your spot less obvious? Now that, is true love.

Anonymous said...

Thanks Laura!