In the past few weeks, I’ve read (on one of my favorite blogs, Variety is the Spice) and had conversations with multiple people about the proper course of action to take when you don’t like a friend or relative’s boyfriend. (Or girlfriend).
In theory, I want my friends and/or family to tell me if they don’t like who I'm dating. An outside perspective can be good and helpful and may lend insight to the relationship that I’m overlooking.
But when the situation has actually arisen in my life, it has…sucked. It’s no fun thinking you’ve made a big old mistake choosing your beau. And in some cases, I think your pride can keep you from listening to the people who care about you.
Sometimes you’re so blinded by love or lust or longing that you hold onto things that don’t suit you well—and when someone tries to tell you to let them go, it makes you want to hold on tighter.
Then, when you dig your heels in, it’s even more frustrating for the outsider who has identified a glitch in the relationship that you don’t see. They either have to choose to keep stating their opinions and observations OR keep their mouths shut and watch you go through whatever nonsense you’re going to go through.
If they tell you they think your significant other is wrong for you, it can create a maelstrom of resentment. This happened last year with my sister—she kept telling me I shouldn’t be with someone who I couldn’t get along and be happy with. And instead of heeding her advice, it just made me angry. It made me push her away. So what’s a concerned sibling, coworker or gal pal to do???
Do we take the “to each his own” stance? As I’m typing this, there’s a little ticker tape running through my head saying Keep Your Side of the Street Clean… Do we have to just keep quiet and have faith that the involved person will figure out their love’s shortcomings or inherent ickiness eventually? Or do we have a duty to do everything in our power to prevent our loved ones from making mistakes?
What do you all think?