Tuesday, May 27, 2008

And Now: A Little Ode to Public Urination


I love peeing outdoors. It's so freeing. The breeze tickles your bum, you feel at one with nature. Back in September when I climbed Half Dome, I drank so much water that when I reached the top I was ready to wet my pants. It wasn't my top choice as far as outdoor bathrooms go, but I had to go. I had no choice. As you can see from the picture, there are no trees, so I had to have my two girlfriends stand sentry. At one point, I heard Alysha say, "Please don't come over here, my friend is using the restroom." As though there was an actual toilet there. Gotta love it.

Anyway, today a friend told me that she was on the road for far more time than anticipated over the weekend and, when confronted with a pee-in-her-seat or pull-over (read: live or die) situation, she chose to crouch curbside on a major street in LA.

"Was it the middle of the night?!" I asked her.

"No it was 3 p.m. And there was a security camera nearby."

Awesome. This story brought much joy to my day. Hope it casts a warm yellow haze over yours too.

12 comments:

Jane Moneypenny said...

I'm with you ALL the way. Whenever I go camping, all the girls refuse to use the forest and walk the mile to the "comfort station." Screw that! There's a bathroom in your back yard! Use it! I've also peed in an abandoned parking lot when I was driving a crush home. I needed to go. Too bad. I'm pretty sure he respected me more for it.

Mel Heth said...

Haha that is awesome, Jane! I've actually been tempted to make a "peeing in nature" scrapbook - I've had to go in a lot of beautiful places!

Michael C said...

I had to read your fist sentence 4 times and each time it said the same thing. This post cracked me up. I'd make a bunch of human relievement jokes, but sadly, I am far too tired and worn out to think of any.

Perhaps I shall return and leave a few of them at a later time. And when I do, urine luck. Oh hey, there's one right there.

big Sister said...

Peeing in public is cute - you can squat and smile. But,when your best friend gives you a metamucil cocktail and it hits a day or so later out in nature....Not so cute.

geekhiker said...

Heh, nothing like peeing with a view, is there? I once heard a comedian, referring to the fact that most women won't pee outdoors that, for a guy, "the world is your urinal".

Never thought to post a picture of it, though...

Mel Heth said...

Michael C - I knew I could count on you for a good urine retaliation.

Sister - Thanks for taking this post to level poo. I mean two.

Geekhiker - Have you ever seen the wizzy at hiking stores? It's a funnel that allows girls to make the world their urinal too. :P

Amy Turpin said...

Wait until you are pregnant and camping in the wilderness. It's a little more difficult to squat when you have a basketball sized belly and your center of gravity is all off!!

poopypants said...

Big Sister...I think I might have seen what you left in nature last time at Powell...you know, the water was waaay down and there was all kinds of muck on the other side.

Anonymous said...

So perhaps you need to get a porta-john. Maybe like the wizzy. One size fits all - and large capacity.
Who raised you!

Alysha said...

I knew you would love this story! She told me to check your blog, because it was all about the incident! :-) Also love that you used the half-dome picture... Can I just say, I really know how to capture a moment. No wonder I am a photographer! :-)

geekhiker said...

I probably have, but since it's not a product made for me, I most likely just passed right by. So nice to be a guy! :D

Mary said...

Umm.. Just on Sunday night I was walking home from a bar and really had to pee, finally I saw a big enough tree and quickly pulled up my dress(in the middle of Chicago).. after I stood up I realized I was 4 buildings from mine! Guess I wasn't even concentrating on that.. Oh and Mel.. I also peed on the top of half dome!