Thursday, May 8, 2008

Le Pew

When I was little, I had this Strawberry Shortcake horse named Maple Stirrup that stunk like nobody’s business. I think I may have gotten high from brushing her smelly mane once, she was so aromatic.

Normally, I was a huge fan of the stench of those dolls. I got in trouble once when I brought Mint Tulip to school because I kept sniffing her pet duck all day. Lime Chiffon, Apple Dumpling, Strawberry herself—all joys to the nose. But that damn horse…

I’m just not a fan of the smell of maple. I don’t even enjoy syrup on my pancakes or my French toast. So when I realized I had accidentally purchased maple instant oatmeal instead of cinnamon at my beloved Trader Joe’s, I thought, “Ahhhh!" followed by, "I can handle this. I can expand my horizons after all these years.” I put blueberries on my oatmeal anyway, so I was sort of hoping their flavor would drown out the mapleness.


This morning I had the brilliant idea of trying to filter the sugar/maple dust from the packet as I sprinkled it into my bowl…and now my hands have smelled like freaking maple all day. No joke, I’ve washed them like 4 times and my right one still smells like Mrs. Butterworth.

Tonight I will go home and soak my hand in turpentine.


Anonymous said...

First of all, that strawberry shortcake horse is probably still under the house! Second, cut an onion and your hands won't smell like maple anymore!

Michael C said...

I'm not the biggest fan of maple either. In Vermont a few years back I got all touristy and bought real maple syrup. I got home, made pancakes, poured on the syrup and couldn't stand it. It tastes much different than the generic syrup I use, which I admit is much cheaper.

Try Trader Joe's cranberry oatmeal. Yum-me! Now, I am off to buy my twins Strawberry Shortcake dolls so I can let their magnificent scents waft beneath my nostrils. Wasn't that a Bette Midler song??

Have a great Friday!!!!

Anonymous said...

It's Poopy...

I was thinking if Lex had any Strawberry Shortcake...but now the "hot" item is Soda Pop girls. They all have similiar smells and pets too! - grosses me out when I open the container. Sorry your hand stinks...maple is better than some other things I can think of though :)

Mel Heth said...

AMOMymous - I have no doubt that horse is still in the house. We'll sell it in that millionaire garage sale we're planning.

Michael C - You are the waft beneath my nostrils...brilliant! I'm so glad I'm not alone with the maple disdain.

Poopy - Now I want to sniff those dolls next time I come over!

Anonymous said...

Heh. Head up to Oak Glen this fall and pick up some apple syrup for those pancakes. Light years better than maple.

I only like maple, myself, if it's the real stuff. Anything partially or wholly fake and you'll find me turning up my nose at it! LOL

Big Sister said...

I totally remember that smelly little horse that you and Kim used to play with. I bet it is under the house, and it still stinks.