Thursday, May 8, 2008

Le Pew

When I was little, I had this Strawberry Shortcake horse named Maple Stirrup that stunk like nobody’s business. I think I may have gotten high from brushing her smelly mane once, she was so aromatic.

Normally, I was a huge fan of the stench of those dolls. I got in trouble once when I brought Mint Tulip to school because I kept sniffing her pet duck all day. Lime Chiffon, Apple Dumpling, Strawberry herself—all joys to the nose. But that damn horse…

I’m just not a fan of the smell of maple. I don’t even enjoy syrup on my pancakes or my French toast. So when I realized I had accidentally purchased maple instant oatmeal instead of cinnamon at my beloved Trader Joe’s, I thought, “Ahhhh!" followed by, "I can handle this. I can expand my horizons after all these years.” I put blueberries on my oatmeal anyway, so I was sort of hoping their flavor would drown out the mapleness.

Wrong.

This morning I had the brilliant idea of trying to filter the sugar/maple dust from the packet as I sprinkled it into my bowl…and now my hands have smelled like freaking maple all day. No joke, I’ve washed them like 4 times and my right one still smells like Mrs. Butterworth.

Tonight I will go home and soak my hand in turpentine.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

First of all, that strawberry shortcake horse is probably still under the house! Second, cut an onion and your hands won't smell like maple anymore!

Michael C said...

I'm not the biggest fan of maple either. In Vermont a few years back I got all touristy and bought real maple syrup. I got home, made pancakes, poured on the syrup and couldn't stand it. It tastes much different than the generic syrup I use, which I admit is much cheaper.

Try Trader Joe's cranberry oatmeal. Yum-me! Now, I am off to buy my twins Strawberry Shortcake dolls so I can let their magnificent scents waft beneath my nostrils. Wasn't that a Bette Midler song??

Have a great Friday!!!!

Anonymous said...

It's Poopy...

I was thinking if Lex had any Strawberry Shortcake...but now the "hot" item is Soda Pop girls. They all have similiar smells and pets too! - grosses me out when I open the container. Sorry your hand stinks...maple is better than some other things I can think of though :)

Mel Heth said...

AMOMymous - I have no doubt that horse is still in the house. We'll sell it in that millionaire garage sale we're planning.

Michael C - You are the waft beneath my nostrils...brilliant! I'm so glad I'm not alone with the maple disdain.

Poopy - Now I want to sniff those dolls next time I come over!

geekhiker said...

Heh. Head up to Oak Glen this fall and pick up some apple syrup for those pancakes. Light years better than maple.

I only like maple, myself, if it's the real stuff. Anything partially or wholly fake and you'll find me turning up my nose at it! LOL

Big Sister said...

I totally remember that smelly little horse that you and Kim used to play with. I bet it is under the house, and it still stinks.