Wednesday, May 28, 2008

The Wonderful Wedding of Ex

I met The Boss (no, not Bruce Springsteen) when I was a 22-year-old intern. After graduation, when the company hired me as a junior copywriter, The Boss became my supervisor, checking every bit of work I did, mentoring me, making me laugh, becoming the kind of teacher a schoolgirl couldn’t help but crush on.

At 25, when my college boyfriend and I broke up, The Boss seemed the next natural choice for me to pursue. Especially because I’d built a towering, gilded pedestal for him to reside upon. It didn’t matter that he was 7 years my senior, or that what we had was really just a convenient friendship in his eyes, I was bent on making him mine.

So I did. Kinda.

We had a half-hearted on again off again relationship for over two years. I thought the sun rose and set in his image. He thought I was a really nice gal. By the fall of 2003, I realized the error of my ways (read: he broke up with me yet again) and I finally let go. But we stayed friends.

We’d been friends for so long, I couldn’t imagine being anything else. We ended up traveling together to Cape Cod for another friend’s wedding; we went camping in the sierras; we still met up for dinner and movies. But this time it was better because it was a completely platonic relationship—the way it should’ve been all along.

Now, nearly 5 years later, my dear friend The Boss is getting married to an incredible girl. I could not be happier for him…so I am embarking on a trip to Minnesota to attend his wedding. Some people think I’m crazy for going to watch an ex get married. But now, he’s just a former colleague and great person who helped me learn to write. (And the thought of kissing him gives me the willies and mild dry heaves). So I can’t imagine not seeing him walk down that aisle.

What do you all think? Have you stayed friends with any exes?

10 comments:

Jane Moneypenny said...

I'm the picture of perfect post-breakup relationships. Okay, not perfect, but I'm remain on good terms with all the guys I've dated (which isn't many...). While some of them had caused lot of heartache, the few that managed to get over the hump of the past have become steadfast friends and I couldn't imagine life without them. So good for you!

laura said...

Good for you! I think you should go and have a great time...

Anonymous said...

Did you check with grandma P?

Michael C said...

All my exes gave me hexes. Whatever the hell that means...

Have a great trip! What's the temperature going to be in Minnesota right now? I'm sure their love will keep it all warm.

Seriously, I can come up with that crap all the time, but Hallmark ain't buying.

Alysha said...

I love that you are friends and that you are such good friends you are trekking to Minnesota! People tell me it is impossible all the time, and I am so glad that other people besides me do the friend thing too! Absolutely FABULOUS!

Alysha said...

PS. I miss you

AA said...

Still friendly with all of them but the last one, ironically (NOT). Still chat on the phone with one on occasion and online with another from time to time.

brookem said...

it so depends on the nature of the relationship and the breakup. i think if you can stay friends with an ex where neither of you harbor any "feelings" for each other, that can work. have a great time at the wedding!

Anita said...

I still chat online with my ex. We're still friendly and will talk about the "good ol' days." While I wasn't invited to his wedding (most likely at the request of the bride) I'm still glad I can be in his life even peripherally. After having dated him for 8 years, it's hard to not still be in touch, after all he was my best friend for all those years and you don't just let go of that if you can help it.

geekhiker said...

You know, I always kinda wished that I'd stayed friends with my Ex. After all, our relationship was more "friendship" than "intimate relationship" anyway, so it would have made sense. But it never happened...