Monday morning, after posting a Missing Person report on this blog Sunday night, I indulged my growing concern, and emailed my friend’s husband. I was worried about her wellbeing but also frustrated that she didn’t want to talk to me.
I clicked back and forth to my email window, wondering what was taking him so long to respond. Then I read Nilsa’s comment on my post. And this part really struck a chord in me:
If it's more about you and your wanting to share how good life is ... well, maybe she's not in a place to share your joys right now. And though it's surely hurtful to realize that, isn't it better than forcing a person into doing something they don't want to do?
She was so right. It wasn’t about me. It wasn’t about the fact that I needed or wanted to talk to her—it was about what she needed. And if radio silence was it, I had to respect that.
Later in the evening, another concerned friend called and told me she had finally spoken to the Missing Person. She was in a dark place, feeling out of the loop, and had just decided it was easier to cut off communication for awhile. I felt terrible.
All this time I had been focused on what was lacking—what I wasn’t receiving from her—when really, I should’ve been giving, giving, giving. I should’ve been concentrating on the abundance I could try to create for her.
So I put together a list of funny, upbeat songs and burned her a CD. Then I wrote her a letter about how I missed her and hoped she was okay, and reminded her that I was always there if she ever needed to talk. As I was sealing the envelope, I saw a new message in my email inbox.
My Missing Person had returned.