Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Seen It. Believe It.

I was approaching the freeway onramp when I saw them. His blonde hair looked damp, face was flushed, calves were rippling. Her brown ponytail swung back and forth, swatting butterflies from her shoulder blades. They were smiling at one another. Jogging side-by-side, unaware of whatever else was going on in the world around them.

I want that, I thought.

I knew him. He was a guy I’d had a crush on after college. And now he was with her and they looked blissfully happy.

I wanted to be the couple who ran together. Who enjoyed each other’s company so much and shared hobbies and laughed and laughed.


There were dozens of bad dates after that day. My heart got broken at least three or four times. I cried orca whale tears. I lost weight. I gained weight. I hated men. I longed for them. I kept getting on and off the rollercoaster. Why? Because I believed. I knew I could have what the jogging couple had. I deserved it.

I believe everyone can have that. I believe there is someone out there for everyone. I believe that if you want to find your perfect match, you will. Someone to call when the sunset looks like it did tonight. Someone who will reach over and stroke your hair and neck while you’re driving. Someone who will put a spoonful of homemade spaghetti sauce to your lips and ask you if it tastes okay. Tell you they love your skin. Hold your hand at the movie theater. Play Scrabble with you on a Friday night. Race you to the top of the hill. Smear sunscreen on the places you can’t reach. Make plans with you. Give you a look, across the elevator in Target, that nearly takes your breath away. Make you have stomach flips that are gold medal worthy. Laugh at your jokes. Dab at your tears. Breathe in your exhales.

But I also know, that the only way to ever find it is for you to believe, too.


Dingo said...

And as clich├ęd as it sounds, it usually happens when you least expect it. And when you meet that someone, man o' man, you are glad for every broken relationship that preceded because without them you wouldn't have THE ONE. Hey, someone should write a song about that! I'm going to contact Rascal Flatts. They seem like the likely candidates.

Nilsa S. said...

I couldn't have said it better myself! Great post. And great picture, too!

justrun said...

I agree. And believing hasn't disappointed me yet... so we'll see!

charlotteharris said...

Ah, I hope you're right!

Michael C said...

I feel lucky because I do have that. Wait a minute, your Target has an elevator? What the hell? Where is it? I need to experience this...

Mandy said...

What an awesome post!

I have cried those "orca whale tears" (LOVE THAT!) and have had my heartbroken too many times to admit without embarrassment, and still, I never stopped believing like some dorky little Jiminy Cricket Wishing little kid.

Anonymous said...

I like how optimistic you are; gives a cynic/realist like me hope!

Anonymous said...

I think my own philosophy on the whole thing leans towards realistic. For myself, being too optimistic about the whole thing only leads to greater disappointment in the end; not so good for an over-thinker such as myself.

My feeling is that the only thing in life that is guaranteed is that there are no guarantees; what one does or doesn't deserve often doesn't play a factor. I mean, the people of George who have Russian tanks rolling through their streets don't deserve it... but that's not stopping the tanks, is it?

My own personal perspective (as a singleton) is to take a line down the middle. Sure, yes, I deserve a wonderful woman who's going to treat me just like what you describe above, but there's no guarantee that it's going to happen. Wasn't born with a toe-tag that said "This boy is 100% guaranteed to find the love of his life or your money back" I'm sorry to say. BUT (and it's a big "but"), if that's true, then that means that the corollary also has to be true. After all, if there's no guarantee that one will find that person, then there's also no guarantee that one won't.

And it's that philosophy, though you may not share it, that keeps me going.

Wow, that was awkward said...

Your Target has an elevator in it?

laura said...

forget the sunset picture...i've got to see a pciture of the elevator at Target!

Mel Heth said...

Dingo - Why not write the song yourself? I'm pretty good at Rock Band, I could be your back-up. You're right about the failed relationships - they're all worth it if they lead you to someone wonderful.

Nilsa - Thanks! :) I'd love to know the story of how you and Sweets met - maybe I'll have to look at some of your archives.

JustRun - Yeay! A fellow believer! :)

Charlotte Harris - Believe me ;) I'm right.

Michael C - You all have land out where you live - there's enough room to build a one-story Target. Up here everything is crammed and we have to go up instead of out. I'll take a picture next time I'm in one...

Mandy - Thanks! And good for you! I think it says a lot about someone when they can endure the pain and still keep their hopes up. Besides, it seems like it has worked out for you and Fred. :)

Variety - It's taken me a LONG time to shed my cynicism on love. But I believe you attract what you put out. So if you expect him to arrive, he will.

Geekhiker - Do you believe in self-fulfilling prophesies?

I do not at all think that anyone "deserves" to have tanks roll through their towns; no one deserves to get cancer; no child deserves getting beaten by his or her parents. But I also believe that, in relationships at least, you attract what you put out. I.E. if you put out, "I'm never going to meet the right person" or "The right person for me just doesn't exist" that's exactly what you will manifest in reality.

I'm all for being grounded but I also know that when I have focused on the positive and "believed" - whether at work, apartment searching or in love - I always end up connecting with what I want.

Wow TWA - Sheesh man do you live in the boonies or what?

Laura - Awe come on! There has to be a two-story Target somewhere in Orange County!!

Sizzle said...

"But I also know, that the only way to ever find it is for you to believe, too."

So VERY true.

Mel Heth said...

Sizzle - Thanks, gal. It's so nice to know there are other people out there who share my viewpoint.