Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Discoveries

Seems like, no matter how old we are, there’s always something new to learn. Or something old to relearn. As if discovering the joy of, say, a spa day and a facial (I had my first facial ever on Saturday and it was fantastic!) weren’t enough, we have to learn things that make us look at life or ourselves a little differently.

In my last post, I called myself a man pack rat. Yet, upon combing each and every email I had been saving from the ex, I discovered that I really didn’t need them. I deleted all except a couple early ones and a few that contained poetry I had written. Although it seemed scary to just up and trash the entire folder, once I examined its contents, the deleting wasn’t frightening at all. I wasn’t losing any part of my history—I was letting go of old pain. And that’s a great thing.

Another surprise that came with this whole process was the realization that the ex reads this blog more often than I may have thought (see comment 22 on my last post). No matter how many times I tell him I forgive him—and that I’m truly happy everything turned out the way it did—he continues to apologize. He probably needs to delete my email folder, too…

I was reminded this weekend, how important it is to experience moments of true happiness every day. Whether you’re sorting through past relationship pain or buried under a mountain of personal obligations and freelance work (uh, that would be me…thus the infrequent comments on your blogs), it’s critical to take time out for little things that make you smile. In between writing my cousin’s resume and editing for my client, I found time to eat Cherry Garcia ice cream, watch a little Tori & Dean, go running and take a very relaxing hike.

I even rediscovered one of the elements of hiking I love: the way that hikers are sort of “all in this together.” It didn’t matter that I was hiking alone. The people I passed on the trail were my people. They smiled and said hello as we crossed. One guy even waved to me as I swatted at a bug—thinking I was actually greeting him. It cracked me up and made me so thankful that I had chosen to take time out for myself.

Mr. Wonderful was away for the weekend, and I found that it now feels very strange to spend so many days without him. We’ve gotten into a routine and I like it that way. In fact, I wouldn’t mind seeing the routine creep into a bigger routine…but we’ll figure that out when the time is right. Because I’ve discovered there’s no rush.

I also learned that Nilsa gave me a blog award that I must pay forward to 7 others. Instinct tells me this post is already too long (it's my 200th, by the way. yay me.), so I think I’ll save that one for next time…besides, it’ll give you all time to bribe me…

Happy September, everyone.

14 comments:

The Coconut Diaries said...

Facials are wonderful. Every girl needs one when days are rough, the ex whines about not wanting to seem like the bad guy to complete strangers on a blog, or when your real love is out for a bit.

Dingo said...

Sometimes we tell ourselves that we don't have time for that "feel good" break but we're always glad when we make ourselves take one, aren't we?

varietyisthespice said...

I'm so in awe of you for doing it alone! I love going for walks, but I don't think I have guts to hike alone. Hm, I'll add that to my list of things to try.
-Jane

Anonymous said...

I think the best part of the "spa day" was we did it as a family which made it not only a wonderful treat for ourselves, but fun too!
Thank you again.
I'm glad you had time to follow you passions this weekend - it always gives you a "fresh breath".

geekhiker said...

I think my time to "feel good" every day gets swallowed by the freeway on my commute, especially now that school is back in...

Michael C said...

So much in here to comment on, but I'll just say glad you had a nice weekend and HAPPY 200TH!!!!!!

Wow, that was awkward said...

Haha, his comment (the ex) made me laugh. One of my pals was just telling me that she noticed her exes all like to see that she wrote about them. Sounds like maybe your ex doesn't fit that bill.

I am going to wave to a lot of people tomorrow, but I'm going to do it the way I'd swat a fly. I want to see if anyone says anything.

brookem said...

i couldnt agree MORE about trying to find small little moments of happiness in the everyday mundane.

what a good feeling that must have been to feel almost fully okay deleting The Ex Folder. i need to do that... it's hard.

brookem said...

ps- congrats on the award, and your 200th post!!

Nilsa S. said...

Your personal growth is an amazing process to watch. I can just sense that feeling of calm that is taking over your life, despite the looming deadlines and blogs to read. Yay!

Mandy said...

Wow. Your ex is stalkeriffic.

Someone needs to get a life (re: Not You).

Alysha said...

I love facials! I miss my free ones from Lori... Glad that you are doing so well and deleted that folder! Definitely the right step! Hope your free-lance work isn't too overwhelming. Excited for a run and hike when I get back.

JustRun said...

Those are two of the many reasons I keep running-- that other runners are always around (even if only in my mind) and that I can find something good out there every time. Just being able to run makes it a good day.

Way to go for deleting what needed to be deleted and moving on from the rest. I used to have a teacher that said we're nothing if not moving forward. I had no fricken clue what he meant then, but now it's starting to make sense.

Big Sister said...

Mandy-
Loved your comment!!!!