Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Showing His True Colors

After much coercing and whining on my part, Mr. Wonderful and his roommate agreed to have a Halloween party on Friday. So, a few weekends ago, Mr. W and I went on a search for spooky decorations, a fog machine, and the perfect costume (for him, of course—mine’s been planned for months).

We started out at Cinema Secrets in Burbank, where I tried to coerce him into getting a Spartan outfit that would show off his shapely calves, but he poo-pooed that idea. His interest piqued at an Italian Carnival masquerade mask, but it was $175, so that was out.

At our second stop in Glendale, I immediately made him try on (and buy, for a later date) a Batman mask. He wasn’t down with wearing the whole batsuit (shucks), but he agreed to indulge my fantasy at some point with the spiky-eared headgear. We wandered through aisles and aisles of options, and he pondered each one very carefully. I thought he’d make a great 80’s rocker; he wasn’t feeling Bret Michaelish enough. I suggested being a deranged chef; he reminded me that cooking is a very serious matter. Most everything I offered, he shot down.

And then we saw what will be his costume on Friday night.

My sweet, soft-spoken, precious little Mr. W picked one of the most obnoxious get-ups in the entire Halloween superstore. He’s being Dr. Grabwell, the gynocologist. He will be wearing scrubs on his body, and on his head, a silver box with a sort of figure 8 cut out over his face that says “Free mammograms. Place breasts here.” I call it: The Boobie Helmet.

Would I have ever expected him to go from caped Carnival masquerade guy to boobs-in-the-face man? No. Did I immediately tell him that if any girls stick their boobs in his face, I’m punching them? Yes. Will I be getting a free mammogram from him at some point? Most likely.

13 comments:

Jane Monepenny said...

I'm laughing too hard to comment.

But I totally saw that costume and thought, "That guy will never get laid." You've just proven me wrong.

Mel Heth said...

Jane - Hahahaha I'm sure if he were single, he wouldn't be that big of a hit with the ladies Halloween night. Although he might be spewing charm out of that figure 8-shaped hole... :P

laura said...

LOVE IT! And please don't make us wait until Monday to see the pictures! You have to do a post this weekend!

Wow, that was awkward said...

Even if we aren't boob-men, boobs fascinate us.

Just worry if he wears that getup on weekends after Halloween.

Semicharmed said...

Hysterical. Brett Michael too over the top for him? Yep. Boob machine instead....love it! And seriously what is it with men's fascination with boobs?? I will never understand it.

brookem said...

haha, classic! what are you being?

Anonymous said...

Darn, I just had my mammo last week! After working in the field,
I can't picture Mr. W in that attire. Incidentally, gynecologist is not spelled with an
"o" after the "n".
I hope Emily & Marissa read this!

Mel Heth said...

Laura - I'll definitely send you pictures. If I post them on here, I'll have to black out Mr. W's face to protect his identity. I don't want people bombarding him for autographs...

Wow TWA - I knew you'd be able to break it down for me.

Semichrmd - Yeah funny how rocker was too much but perverted doctor was just fine... I think the fascination is because they don't have 'em.

Brookem - It's a surprise. :D I'll post a picture of my costume this weekend. You need to do the same with your girl scout outfit!

Mom - Thanks, I just barfed on my keyboard. I'm not sure you could hoist your "girls" high enough to reach Mr. W's face...

Big Sister said...

I would have never pegged Mr. Shy W for a costume like that. Guess there's alot we don't know about him.

I think we need to put mom on a waiting list for a dementia treatment center or something - After her comment, I'm hoping she just has some mild Alzheimers or some other sort of brain damage issue, that can explain that.

jen tarara said...

Too funny, Mel. I wonder how you will out-do your LaFonda costume from a few years ago. Maybe you should do a post of your past Halloween ensembles.

Lara Watkins said...

I think I just peed a little. I'm so sad that I'm going to miss the party! If it was even possible, I think the costume choice makes me love Mr. W. even more :)

Anita said...

I just wonder if you didn't have your costume planned already (which btw there has been so much build up on FB today that I can't wait to see the pic), and you and Mr. W had a "couple's costume," you would naturally have to be a boob right? Or Dolly?

Mandy's Kidding said...

I have no words.