Monday, January 12, 2009

Making Peace with Change

When Mr. Wonderful told me he might be moving to London for 6 months, my initial reaction was one of…well…horror. How was I possibly going to make it through a stretch like that? I cried and cried and cried and then turned to my friends for insight.

My friend K, a gem, is the wife of a military man. She sent me a great, very practical list of what to do to ease the pain of his absence.

My friend C, the brilliant voice of reason, reminded me that this is not about me. This is Mr. W’s life path and I need to support him on it—even if that means giving up on the little dreams I had for our life together this year. Camping and wine tasting can wait. An opportunity to work with Ridley Scott cannot.

Then there are all of you. My readers. You all commented on my sad post with uplifting messages about visiting Mr. W or even going with him.

This got me thinking. A lot.

And I’ve realized that if he does go, I would regret it forever if I didn’t go with him at least part of the time. In college, I remember thinking it would be so cool to do a semester abroad. But the thought of that also terrified me. So I stayed put. I’ve always regretted that.

Now I may have the chance to go live in London (easy peasy London where they speak English) for free. FREE. How could I not take advantage of that?

So I crunched the numbers. And I thought about different scenarios. And I’ve decided that I will do everything in my power to take a 2-month unpaid leave of absence from work. If I had mono, they’d have to give me the time off. If I were pregnant, I’d get even more time off. If I were to quit, it would likely take them 2+ months to replace me, so why not let me go and come back? This is the question I’ll be asking my boss when I find out for sure what Mr. W’s plan is.

He, of course, wants me to go the entire 6 months. But I don’t think the cats or the soon-to-be-delivered composting worms would appreciate my being gone that long. Two months seems reasonable.

I’m shooting for June and July. Please wish me luck.


SoMi's Nilsa said...

FUCK YEAH! Oh wait, did I just say that? Am I allowed to say that on such a clean blog? Well, in any case, I'm thrilled for this decision. Being one of the ones who told you to go and all ... well, I'm patting myself on the back right now ... and if I saw you, I'd give you a high five (followed by a massive smile & hug)!!!

charlotteharris said...

it seems you have come up with an ideal compromise! you cannot go wrong with this plan!! yayyyyy

Emily said...

You are NOT allowed to be gone june AND july!!!!! Didn't we talk about this?! I mean fine, follow your heart and everything, but I will miss you. For 6 straight months!

laura said...

Love the idea!!! Great compromise...and your dad mentioned last night that they were in charge of watching the grandchilren...umm...i mean the worms. :)

Anita said...

Well there you go! That's the perfect solution/compromise for you two. I'm so glad you are going for YOURSELF and knowing that this is something you should do to grow individually (and consequently, as a couple too). Like I said before, 2 months will FLY by and in no time, you guys will be back the the States, reminiscing about the wonderful time that was had abroad.

justrun said...

GOOD FOR YOU!!! And not just for wanting to go and crunching the numbers and making it work but for seeing things differently and embracing it! The ability to do that will now always be at the ready for you. No hesitation. That is awesome!

Amy Turpin said...

I am SO proud of you and jealous at the same time!!!! What a great opportunity. I have always wanted to do something like that. Have fun!!

Anonymous said...

Will keep my fingers crossed. Be sure to start buttering up the boss now, m'kay?

Sizzle said...

I think that's a fantastic idea!

Dingo said...

I think this works out great! Two months! That's fantastic! I would still try to go for the entire time but I'd take two months.

Summer said...

Awesome decision...You will LOOOVE London!! I lived there for two months after I graduated college and I ended up broker than broke but I wouldn't trade it for anything. You MUST check out all of the museums AND visit the food market downtown and then the shops in Camden too! I will warn you though, you will probably want to stay ;)

jen tarara said...

Great plan! Once you go - be open to staying longer ;)

Hannah said...

Helllllls Yeah!
I am so excited for you.
Go now. Start packing. Go go go!

Mandy's Kidding said...

You could have just said, "No Mandy. I do not want you to move in with my boyfriend in London."



Little Miss Obsessive said...

How excitinggg!! I hope it all works out for you!! :)

Mel Heth said...

Nilsa - Your comment made me laugh out loud when I read it! Thank you for being such an enthusiastic supporter!

Charlotte - I hope you're right! It would be nice to blog from abroad!

Emily - I promise I'll make it up to you if I miss your 21st bday.

Laura - Yeah I don't think Gary and Denice are fully on board with the idea, but they don't have much of a say!

Anita - I'm hoping that the time that flies is the time we're apart! This last week has been one of the longest in my life. I can't imagine living it x8.

JustRun - Thank you! It is nice to be able to look at this from a bigger, life perspective.

Amy - Thanks, girlie. I hope it all works out. Keep your fingers crossed!

Geekhiker - Oh I've started the buttering, believe you me.

Sizzle - I do too. I hope it all falls into place.

Summer - Lucky! Yes, I hope I'm really able to enjoy the city. I think I went to the markets - were they in an area called the burrows?

Jen - You're such a good influence on me. ;)

Hannah - You're a crack up. I have to pack for Italy and Greece before I can pack for London!

Mandy - Crack up. There's room for more. Pack up cracky and come stay with us!

Little Miss - Thank you! I really hope it works out too!

Semicharmed said...

I don't think anyone could put it better than Nilsa!! So glad you decided to go for a few months - I think like you said if you didn't go you would regret it forever!! Can't wait to hear all your london tales!

Anonymous said...

Your friend K agreees with your friend C. The way I always think of it is, "You can have it all, but the 'it' may not be what you thought it would be."

Anonymous said...

As a military spouse, I can say the time apart gives you some amazing me-time and you changes the way you appreciate time you spend together. Good luck!