Monday, January 26, 2009

Work Gripes

I'm hungover and cranky today. Had a little too much wine last night and not quite enough water, so not only am I dehydrated, my sleep was riddled with all sorts of funky drunky dreams. I turned my Prius into a succulent at one point; I couldn't find where to take a test in my high school and I didn't have a #2 pencil or a Scan-tron. So I'm tired from thinking too much all night and although I leave for vacation in 4 days, I just want to complain about some things that have been building up lately.

Guys with ponytails. I don't know what it is about this recently, but it makes my skin crawl. I want nothing more than to sneak up behind them with a big pair of scissors and emancipate them from Dungeons and Dragons world and thrust them into the 21st century. My work is crawling with these guys.

People who don't flush. Okay seriously, this should not ever, ever be an issue unless there is a problem with the plumbing. Even if you're missing both of your arms, you could at least kick the handle with your foot. But see, I know you have arms because you leave evidence behind of your ability to wipe. Bathroom bastard.

Morning chitchat. Call me whatever mean name you want, but I don't really even like to say good morning to anyone until I've had some time to get settled at my desk and wake up a bit. This usually means I'd prefer radio silence until about 1 p.m.

The arsehats who open the blinds in the conference room by my cube. People, I know the view of the traintracks and Fry's is nice, but when you open the blinds in there, it sends a stream of blinding sunlight across my desk—right in the middle of my laptop screen. You are the reason I can no longer read street signs when driving at night.

To go boxes in the cafeteria. If I say "it's for here" that means I want a plate. Not everyone enjoys unnecesarily filling landfills with plastic containers.

Okay, I'm done. I promise my next post will be all happy happy joy joy about Italy and Greece. In the meantime, why don't you tell me what's bugging you?

21 comments:

Lara Watkins said...

I'm sorry to laugh at your pain, but your gripes made me! I definitely love the use of 'arsehats'. Clever. You rock. Keep on griping!

BTW, my word verification is: anises

Wow, that was awkward said...

Ha, great post. I can't argue against any of those being worthy gripes.

I am sick today and don't have much of a mind, so I can't think of any gripes other than I'm tired of running to the bathroom (where I flush) every half hour.

laura said...

what bothers me...EVERYTHING.

PoopyPants said...

I'm with Laura...right now I'm annoyed with everyone and everything. I think I need a vacation. I'm sure your trip will invigorate and energize you :)

Sizzle said...

I love griping when I am hungover. Or really, any old time!

I have that same issue with the blinds and not being able to see. I get that we are sun-starved in Seattle but I CAN'T SEE.

Sizzle said...

Oh and ponytails on men? NO! Just NO.

justrun said...

All seems gripe worthy to me! It is Monday, after all.

Hannah said...

For me lately, cause of all the job interviews I have been on it's the questions: "so, tell me a little about yourself? And " tell me, in your opinion what makes you the best person for the job, why should we hire you?"

I am with you on the ponytails thing. Go for it, Chop them off and please give them my warmest welcome to the year 2009 already in progress.

Mandy's Kidding said...

Don't even get me started on men with long hair.

*Shudders*

Anonymous said...

I hate men with pony tails also, and if you remember females with "tails" also. I almost cut one off in my kitchen years ago! As for the rest - IT'S MONDAY! And there is a rainbow at the end of the week for you.

Semicharmed said...

Hungover and cranky, that was me yesterday. As for work gripes, oh do I have a few! My most mortal enemy is the "lunch thief" you know, the person who needs your lunch or your last little bit of cream cheese more than you - yeah they piss me off.

surrogate big sis said...

People who don't return the shopping carts to the store or the cart return. Can they not walk a few feet just to do the right thing!UGH

Laura said...

Nothg is bothering me since I took a snow day and will just have to miss the one-hour conversation wherein all manner of teachers will try to show that they know more about the subject matter than anyone else. I really hate intellectual snobs. They are the reason so many of us take years to realize that we're smart and should not be self-conscious about opening up our mouths in public.

geekhiker said...

I dunno 'bout you, but people who complain a lot four days before leaving for a whirlwind European vacation kinda bug me... kidding! :D

Emily said...

You have sun. Experience life without it and you'll like the opening-the-blinds people.

Anita said...

AMEN on the Bathroom Bastards. Not only do they not flush, some leave something special on the seat, and have seat covers and TP strewn all over the floor. I swear these people are almost as bad as the "Non Hand Washers!"

LOL on Lara's word verification! Mine is "sweene"...kinda cute, no? :)

Alysha said...

You are hilarious. My sister told me that my nephew used his nose to flush a toilet once... there are endless possibilities on that one. Although, I have heard the argument that for the environment - if its yellow, let it mellow, and if it is brown, flush it down.

Other than that, I don't really have any gripes today, but I am so excited for the Italy and Greece posts!!!

thecoconutdiaries said...

When you share an office wall with your boss and you can hear every phone conversation she has with her parents/husband/Amazon/Anne Klein/doctor but she sends me emails.

Big Sister said...

You're pretty darn cranky for someone who just got to see her traveling boyfriend after a few long weeks, and is now jetsetting off to Europe with him. Who cares about a few ponytails, some floaties, and a little sunshine?

christina said...

Bathroom cell phone talkers. Seriously where do these people come from? Perhaps these are the same people that aren't flushing....their hands aren't available because they're talking on their phone. So annoying.

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