Monday, February 23, 2009

I’m Not Here


I’m sitting on a balcony with you, watching the sunset across the Mediterranean. We’re drinking red wine we didn’t realize was dessert.

I’m watching your shoulder blades slide under your shirt as you hike in front of me to a waterfall overlook.

I’m reading next to you in bed, touching my foot to yours.

I’m holding your hand across a table, waiting for our plate of cheeses and fig spread to arrive.

I’m digging in the dirt in your garden, planting herbs, listening to the squirrels chatter in your avocado tree.

I’m resting my head on your shoulder in a movie theater.

I’m licking gelato off your spoon as we shiver in Rome’s evening air.

I’m riding down Lombard Street as you wiggle my car around each curve, driving one-handed while drinking your coffee.

I’m staring out across a vineyard, wanting to bottle the moment, dreaming of the day we’ll have a backyard full of vines.

I’m eating yogurt and honey. A new favorite breakfast you taught me to eat. We’re in the rooftop restaurant, awaiting our trip to the Acropolis.

I’m riding a bicycle alongside you with the waves crashing on Santa Monica beach.

I’m holding you close, staring at the ceiling of a converted monastery, listening to U2 sing “In a Little While.” In a little while, surely you’ll be mine. In a little while I’ll be there. In a little while, this hurt will hurt no more. I'll be home. Love. I can’t help but cry.

I’m hiding. From the calendar and the clock. Hiding my eyes from the blank months ahead when I’ll be here and you’ll be there.

10 comments:

laura said...

well this is sad...but nicely written as always! G&D were over last night and they menitoned that Mr. W was leaving this week....but it sounds like you've got a trip to London coming up just around the corner. April will be here before you know it!

Hannah said...

Your post makes me want to cry. It is so beautifully written. I am sorry that Mr. Wonderful is leaving. But he will come back and you will get to visit.
I am sending you a cyber hug.

:)

SoMi's Nilsa said...

Cherish the moments you have today. And if possible, bottle them up for future use. =)

Sizzle said...

The good news is, you love someone enough to miss them.

justrun said...

I know it's not much consolation in these moments, but that's why we have those memories.
I'll hope the months pass fast for you! :)

Mermanda said...

I think this is your most beautiful post yet. It is heartbreaking and joyful at the same time.

I've been through a long distance relationship, and the key is knowing that the distance is temporary. You know you and Mr. Wonderful will reunite when the sand runs through the hourglass. That gives you something amazing to look forward to. The rest of your lives together. :)

Dingo said...

Absolutely beautiful.

Lara Watkins said...

This is beautiful. Thank you for expressing your feelings this way. I love what Sizzle said. Love you!

Alysha said...

You two have made so many good memories and have so many more to make!

thecoconutdiaries said...

I'm glad that you have this blog!