Not sure if I ever mentioned it here, but I was an accident. My parents weren’t expecting to have another kid—10 years after the birth of their first one. Being the youngest by a long shot meant that all of our family friends thought of me as their surrogate daughter or little sister. I inherited all of my siblings’ friends, and was parented by dozens.
I may not have also mentioned that I live minutes from the town in which I grew up. Almost my entire family is in the immediate vicinity. A lot of old friends live in the area. It’s great most of the time, but when it comes to thinking about a wedding?
For about the last decade or so, I’ve been dealing with people asking me when I was going to get married, telling me they can’t wait to come to my wedding, and giving me advice on how I should handle the whole shebang. It stresses the sheet out of me.
I love the idea of having a small wedding—just family and close friends. But given my upbringing and “small town” environment, the lowest number I can get my count down to is 90. Yes, people, I made a list. Years ago. Without an engagement ring. Simply because the thought of making that list sent me into a panic. So I went ahead and did it just to see how bad the damage would be.
That number includes only 4 high school friends and their dates, 2 college friends and their husbands, and about 5 couples I’ve met in my working life. Everyone else is a family member or family friend. And it doesn’t include any kids outside of my nieces, which is a whole other issue. If I allow kids, I have to allow EVERYONE’S kids—and that would add between 14 and 22 more to my list.
Why don’t I just elope? I’ve thought about it. Mr. W and I have talked about it. But I honestly cannot imagine saying my vows without my family nearby. Why don’t I have family only? Because some of my friends feel like family. Why don’t I just put myself into major credit card debt and spring for a $50k wedding? Because I see absolutely NO sense in that whatsoever. It’s ONE day. An important one, yes. But not one worth $50k. I want to use that money for a house or travel or college educations for my imaginary children.
It’s so funny how little girls never think of the immense pressure and have-to-please-everyone nonsense that comes with a wedding when they’re dreaming about their day as a princess. How do people make it through this?
I guess I should stop worrying altogether…I’m not even engaged…just trying to think ahead…