Friday, September 18, 2009

He’s Just That Into You

I watched He’s Just Not That into You last night and found myself thinking again how helpful it would have been to read that book when I was oh, about 12. So many glaring warning signs might have been acknowledged if I’d been able to apply HJNTIY to my assessment of various dating situations.

The funny thing about the movie vs. the book, though, is that it shows resolutions after turmoil. Guys who seem not to be into girls end up coming around. So it sort of contradicts or raises questions about the book…

It also got me to thinking about the ways you know he IS into you. Sometimes he doesn’t do the normal things he’s supposed to—but the things he does do make you feel in your heart of hearts that he’s all in.

He may say he’s not ready to be exclusive yet…but he’ll spend every weekend with only you. He may wait to call you his girlfriend for what feels like forever…but you’ll be the first person he tells when something exciting happens and the first person he invites when an event comes up. He may not say I love you right away…but he’ll show it in the way he kisses your cheeks and hands at random. He may not know what sort of future he wants with you…but he’ll take the initiative, on his own, to find a professional to help him figure it out.

His actions may not fit in the stereotypical what-he’s-supposed-to-do box. But he’ll show you in his own unique ways that he is in love. He’ll show you that he’s just that into you.


Dingo said...

I didn't see the movie or read the book but from what I've heard of it, the signs that HJNTIO are no-brainers. Of course they are no-brainers in hindsight. At 30-something I look back to my 20-something self and say, "My god, you were an idiot not to see it!"

But sometimes I think that we don't see the obvious because we don't want to. Not returning your calls or returning them two weeks later? Not meeting his friends or meeting his friends and then he ignores you? Duh! Sometimes we see what we want to see.

justrun said...

I'm in the crowd wherein I wish I'd read that book loooong ago. Truth be told, I never did get around to actually reading it, but still, now I know. DUH.

As for paying attention to actions, well, yeah, that says it all. And now we know. :)

thecoconutdiaries said...

I, too, wish this book and maybe Sex and the City were around when I was a kid.

Yesterday, The Hubster and I were stuck in traffic and he revealed all the ways he let me know he was into me when we first met that I SOOOO missed because I was looking for the John Hughes-like signs and missed the stuff real boys do.

Anonymous said...

I'm going to write a book titled "She's Never Into You." It'll make a mint, then I can just buy myself a Hollywood Bimbo(c). It's the perfect plan! LOL

Sizzle said...

I liked the book and thought it was spot on. It's stuff that girls need to GET even if they pretend they know. "Don't waste the pretty!" The movie version was just alright. It kind of missed the mark.

I do think that actions speak louder than words. I've had waaaaay too many guys talk a good game but never show me ANYTHING. So yeah, lesson learned.

Alysha said...

This was a very good post. Good job. You are sounding very balanced. I found the movie hilarious! Guess I should read the book someday.

Jane Moneypenny said...

LOVE this post. I watched this movie in theater and hated the ending b/c it went against everything the book was saying. Watched it again on the plane and decided the same thing. I did like the part about "maybe that new beginning is just you, alone" but I completely agree about the contradiction of the ending.

As for the signs... I guess I have yet to meet a guy that shows me in his own way, no matter how much I look for the signs that he does care for me w/out realizing it. You definitely give me faith!