Thursday, September 17, 2009

In Appreciation of All That Is Good

As an opinionated and often snappy person, I don’t always stick to the age-old parental commandment, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” Sometimes I just can’t help but let something snarly slip.

However, the older I get, the easier it is to bite my tongue. Who am I to judge? Why should I be spewing negativity into the universe? Don’t I have better things to do with my time?

Given this mindset, I find it amazing whenever I read comments that personally attack blog writers. Dooce has actually created an entire website filled with the nasty comments and hate mail she receives. When I saw her link to it, I couldn’t help but take a look—and I immediately found myself wondering, Who are these people? And why do they feel the need to be so mean? Honestly, I don’t get it. I don’t get how they think they are doing any good by expressing their vicious viewpoints.

I’ve been pretty fortunate with this little blog here. I have received comments that upset me before, but only one was downright mean. For the most part, I am graced with good advice and heartfelt understanding. And in some ways, this amazes me just as much as the awful-comment phenomenon does.

I mean, there are several of you who I’ve never met (or rarely see) and yet you take time out of your days to have dialogues with me about my life. Not just comment conversations either—but long, thoughtful email exchanges and detailed IM volleys. Seriously, how cool is that?

This week, in particular, I’ve had several great chats with some different folks and I just feel so lucky to have insight and caring coming from so many places. It makes me want to put more of it back into the world.

So thank you, readers. There may not be hundreds of you, but I’d take quality over quantity any day. Thank you for your time and your thoughtfulness. Thank you for making this blog a more positive place.


Anonymous said...

I chalk it up to the anonymity of the internet. People are much more willing, it seems, to unleash their vitriol when they don't have to show their face. Whether this bespeaks to a degradation in our society, or simply to unchangeable human nature, is up for debate.

Like you, I've been lucky as well. Apparently I'm not big enough in the blog world to generate hate mail. :)

Danielle said...

I just recieved my first negative comment. It really bothered me. I am over it now, but don't understand the reason for this kind of comment. I love someone that challenges me, but not judges.
So anyway, I am with you on this one.
By the way, Hello, first time commenter.

brookem said...

i hear you. i just don't understand why people would waste their time then, on a blog that they aren't into.

Dingo said...

Dear Mel Heth,

You suck.

Love, Dingo

HAHAHAHAH! Okay,not really. But I figured if Dooce had a page full of hate mail, I'd get you started on your way.

The thing is, if people don't like someone's blog or what they have to say, I don't understand why people just don't move on along. No one is forcing you to read a blog.

Wow, that was awkward said...

Insight and thoughtful dialogue? How come we never have any of that in our IMs? :)

justrun said...

I was just chatting with another blogger about this today. I guess it's human nature for people to assume they're reading everything but the part that gets me is that assumption paired with judgment. It's tough to understand. But, like so many experiences, the good stuff outweighs the rest.

Also, the word verification? hellya

Sizzle said...

I don't get vicious comments either. I have one person that comes back repeatedly but I think I know his/her association so it seems more personal (and even more ridiculous that she/he actually reads my blog like 3-10 times A DAY).

But, like you said, the good far outweighs the bad. I've made really great friends from blogging which is SO AWESOME.

SoMi's Nilsa said...

First, those haters in the blogosphere ... all they have to remember is people who sit on high horses need to be wary of the fall. They all fall.

Second, I think there's a fine balance of being able to speak your mind sensibly. There's no reason that you always have to agree with what you read or see or hear, but to be able to express yourself without judging others; without being filled with hate; well, there's a maturity to that which many people lack.

Finally, isn't this blogosphere and the related IM, email and other online spheres amazing??? =)

Mel Heth said...

Geekhiker - You're right - I think the anonymity is a huge contributor. But even when one is anonymous, why be mean? It's just unnecessary.

Danielle - Thanks for visiting my site. I went over and checked out yours (and tried to find the negative comment!) You're so right - a challenge is great, a judgment is not.

Brookem - Exactly. Just go read somewhere else, right?

Dingo - I love you for hating me so much.

Wow TWA - I was talking about the OTHER readers who correspond with me. Most of my conversations with you are just gibberish... :)

JustRun - I didn't even think about that - they REALLY shouldn't be so judgy when they're only getting a portion of the story. Very frustrating.

Sizzle - I read your spicy comments yesterday, and even though I knew WHY she was saying what she did, she didn't need to take it so far. Totally unnecessary.

Nilsa - I feel like you're very good at expressing your views in a productive way - even if they don't mesh with those of others. AND you give awesome advice. :)