Monday, January 11, 2010

Showing My Age (Times Two)

It wasn’t too long ago that my New Year’s Eves were spent collecting midnight kisses and drinking until the wee hours of the morning. Sure, the sleepiness would creep in at some point, but I would power on through and make the most of the night.

This year, as I mentioned earlier, Mr. Wonderful and I celebrated with my parents. We started in the late afternoon, hitting a couple of the local tasting rooms in Solvang. Then followed that up with an incredible prix fixe New Year’s dinner at this awesome restaurant. After dessert, we needed another vino nightcap, so we went to a cute local wine bar (although my parents were drinking pinot soda by that point). It was about 10:30 when we walked home and I was EXHAUSTED.

Mr. W and I went back to our room and started playing Scrabble—but I was falling asleep between turns almost through the entire thing. I woke up at one point and saw that the clock read 12:03. We missed New Year’s! We gave each other a kiss and then it was straight off to slumberland. No partying until 3 a.m. here, kids. I am officially old.

The other great thing coming with my sudden, new agedness? Having a runny nose when I eat. Sexy, right? This has been getting progressively worse over the last year or so, and now I pretty much cannot get through a meal without having to blow. Yes, I’m one of those gross geriatrics who honks her schnoze at the table. I guess I should get up and go to the restroom, but it’s hard with my arthritis and all…

This past weekend, I had 3 of my 4 nieces over for a scrapbooking-shopping-17 Again-viewing slumber party. Of course, they wanted me to take them to Abercrombie Kids at the mall and they were embarrassed when I said loud enough for the salesgirl to hear, “I feel like I’m eating perfume” as we walked in. The music was too loud. The scent of pubescent boy cologne hung in the air like a funk fog. And it’s so dark in there, you can barely see the overpriced clothes. Oh and a fake potted palm tree whapped me in the head as we were leaving. The sad thing about my attitude here is that my mother (30 years my senior) has gone on the same rant.

It frightens me that all these elderly tendencies are rearing their wrinkled little heads so early in my life. If I’m this bad now, who knows what I’ll be like in 5, 10, 25 years. Maybe I should just throw in the towel and find a nice retirement community in Florida now. I’ll just have to hope my neighbors don’t crank up the Lawrence Welk music past 8:00 on weeknights...

14 comments:

justrun said...

While I'd say those first two occurrences were pretty normal, albeit annoying, there is nothing, NOTHING, like Abercrombie to make you feel like you're 90 in under two seconds. Gag.

SoMi's Nilsa said...

At least I know when we meet, we'll be able to compare symptoms and discuss remedies to our old-person woes. =)

Anita said...

Would it make you feel better to hear that we went to this New Year's Eve party being held in this dance hall thingy at the resort we were staying in Mexico. Once the clock struck midnight, we had our celebratory kiss and went back to our room leaving couples that were at least 10-20 years older than us, frolicking and dancing until the wee hours of the morning.

I can blame the fact that Mexico was 2 hours ahead of PST but I know a similar result would've happened at home too. Maybe I'm not old...just boring. :)

Anonymous said...

I love it! You are turning into mom! Enjoy - it's not such a bad way to live!
You would probably have called it early anyhow if you were a "mom" because you would be exhausted all the time!

laura said...

Ha! We were in San Francisco, fell asleep at 10:30, only to be awakened by the firworks show at midnight (which sounded like they were being lit right off the balcony from our room!)...and I was totally annoyed that it woke me up. Yes...I felt old for sure. (but at least I woke up with no hangover!!)

Dingo said...

When you walked into Abercrombie did they call you m'am? Did you beat them with your cane?

Mandy's Kidding said...

I left a New Years Eve party by 11:00 pm because the music was too loud and the people too drunk.

Darn kids.

brookem said...

oh good god, i can just FEEL the perfume scent right now thinking about A&F! eek!

geekhiker said...

I, too, have the runny nose while eating. Just be glad you're not single and don't have to fret over doing it in front of a perfect stranger!

Danielle said...

I just saw a "America's Funniest Videos" where a guy standing at the alter saying I do had a drippy nose. :)
See what you have to look forward to if you and Mr. W get married! :)

Heather said...

Nah you're not getting old. Mr. Wonderful is wearing off on you. ;)

Mel Heth said...

JustRun - Totally! I don't get the allure of that place...except maybe the shirtless pictures on the walls.

Nilsa - We'll probably fall asleep while we're discussing them.

Anita - I like your time-change theory. I bet the people 10-20 years older were drinking Red Bull.

Anonymous - Sister, is that you? I will NEVER be Mom!

Laura - Considering that you're one of the funnest people I know, that makes me feel a lot better.

Dingo - Yes. And I told them to get off my lawn.

Mandy - You have a good excuse though! There's a little energy-drainer growing inside you!

Brookem - Right? I don't get why they think the stink is so alluring.

Geekhiker - Maybe you should wad up cotton and shove it in each nostril before your next date? If I end up single again, that's what I'll plan to do...

Danielle - Great now I'll be worried about that happening on my wedding day... :)

Heather - At least I know I'll never be as old as he is! He'll always be one step ahead of me. :)

blakspring said...

i never even knew that abercrombie kids existed. is it a west coast thing? and i constantly find myself telling little sister, when i was your age (insert complaints). and she's only 13 years younger.

Big Sister said...

I'm feeling pretty young right now compared to my baby sister... I never have to blow my nose during a meal. Soon you're going to have to wear Depends because when you blow too hard, other things come out too. And...Abercrombie is nothing compared to Hollister. I think you might be passing me up.