Monday, February 22, 2010

Is It Karmically Possible to Hate a Hippie?

Mr. Wonderful lives next door to what we believe is a full-fledged hippie commune. The house is a rental, and we’re not exactly sure how many “musicians” live in it, but there are people coming and going over there all day and all night. I know, I know, it’s Hollywood—what do we expect.

I can deal with their crazy, continual drum beating and jam sessions. I even got over the fact that two of them got into a screaming lovers’ quarrel in the middle of the cul de sac one Sunday morning at 6:00 a.m., shrieking and cursing like they were killing each other. Yes someone yelled, “Are you okay,” out a window—which they were. And yes, the cops showed up shortly thereafter.

What gets me most about the hippies is their car situation.

They have a two-car garage. But they choose to park between 4-8 cars (including a super hooptie hippie van) in the street spaces along the cul de sac. Which means there is rarely ever parking for visitors of other inhabitants in the neighborhood. Mr. W and Dirty Painter often have to park their cars on the street just to save spots for me and Southern Belle.

This irks me to no end. It makes me think about doing things like putting dead fish in the undercarriages of their cars. Or accidentally draining their tires of air. It also forces me to summon every bit of zen-ness and positivity I can as I drive toward the street.

And that of course causes me to pause and think, “Why am I hating so much when they’re just a bunch of peaceable hippies?” Sometimes I even consider, “If you can’t beat them, join them.”

Dirty Painter overheard the Head Hippie talking to guests in his yard yesterday. As one friend introduced a new female hippie to Head Hippie, HH said to her, “Tell me about yourself.” (Which immediately made me think he was interviewing her to become their 16th roommate). Her reply was, “Well...I love to love.” (Which made me think she was also interviewing for a starring role in their crazy hippie orgies).

If they’re just out to love—is it even possible for me to hate them? Can my seeds of disdain even survive if they’re fertilizing the ground around me with goodwill and musical kindness? I think their many-man love juju might be too overpowering for my bitter yuppie parking space entitlement. After all, I do drive a Prius…

17 comments:

Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks said...

Irony much? hahaha. What a situation!

brookem said...

"i love love"... haha!

LesleyG said...

I love to love? Yeah, you can hate them. In fact, it's sort of sounding to me like they're just slackers disguised as hippies.

Mike129 said...

"...I love to love."

Don't we all. :)

laura said...

I love to hate hippies. They are annoying and they usually smell bad.

Sizzle said...

It is totally possible to hate a hippy. I have! I think there's something about their whole peace-out-man vibing that drives me nuts because loving everyone doesn't mean they are actually considerate of everyone. Take the parking situation for example- it's inconsiderate to take up that much parking. Where is the love in that? Plus, I firmly believe that no white people should have dreads and people should shower, at a bare minimum, at least once a week.

thecoconutdiaries said...

Ditto on white people with dreds. That shit is just weird. I don't get how being a jobless funky mess means you have succeeded in anything.

Mel Heth said...

Nilsa - I know...I've been called a hippie by my family and ultra conservative friends. :P

Brookem - I almost puked when I heard it.

LesleyG - I think you're right! They're giving real hippies a bad name!

Mike129 - Ha, yes, I guess we do.

Laura - Haha like patchouli?

Sizzle - You crack me up. Thankfully none of them have dreads!

Coconut - I really think they're running a brothel or something over there - so maybe they're not jobless. :P

Lara Watkins said...

Charles Manson was a hippie. So were the people who lived with him and just loved to love. Stupid Hippies.

Jane Moneypenny said...

I live in Austin, the headquarters of the hippies. I gotta admit, I kinda hate them. But mostly b/c they hate me for eating meat and driving a car.

Mandy's Kidding said...

I hate the entire city of Ann Arbor. An entire city of hippies! So yes, it is karmically possible. Plus I think the whole holier-than-thou hippiness of hippies and their Birkenstocks and organic food and hemp clothing is enough to make me want to club baby seals. With plastic bottles I could have recycled but didn't.

I'm done now.

Mel Heth said...

Lara - Hahaha. Did I ever tell you my dad met Charles Manson? Good thing they didn't become fast friends.

Jane - But meat tastes goooood.

Mandy - I think you just made my compost tumbler cry. Can one eat organic food and compulsively recycle without being a full-fledged hippie? I sure hope so...or else I'm going to have to start shopping at the Hemp Hut for all my clothing.

Big Sister said...

It's clear to me from all the comments that being a hippie is just uncool in the year 2010. I don't know any hippies, but if I did, I think I might hate them. Must be inbred - wonder where that came from?

Rachel (yes me!) said...

Hey! I'm a hippie. But a considerate one ;)I park in my driveway and don't have dreads but I do play my hippie music really loud, have a peace pipe (or a few) and use lots of patchouli oil. Don't hate me! Or do hate me - whatever you want. I just love to love. LOL!

blakspring said...

don't ever move to nyc (not that you'd want to since you're on the west coast with gorgeous weather) because you won't even have a garage or a driveway, and parking a few blocks away is the norm.

geekhiker said...

Ah, the classic yuppie vs. hippie situation. You'll be battling over organic chai teas vs. non-fat lattes next!

Mermanda said...

A hippie once tried to steal my man in college. True story. She drunkenly kissed him at a bar after he performed an acoustic set. (Can't really blame her...) I stormed out crying. To this day I hate that damn hippie.