Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Not So Sure I Got What It Takes

This past weekend, I went to visit my friend, Beautiful A, in Texas. Beautiful A is everything you would expect a Texan girl to be. She’s lovely and polite, with a command of hospitality, home décor and lip gloss unlike that of anyone else I know. I’ve never seen her have a bad hair day. And her ability to accessorize is award-worthy.

My reason for visiting Beautiful A was to go meet her second baby girl. Her first, Miss M, is 3 ½ now, and Baby Nugget just turned 1 in December.

I suppose it shouldn’t have been a surprise that Beautiful A would handle motherhood with such grace, patience and vigor. Those are some of her long-time signature moves. But watching her in action—effortlessly holding a baby and diaper bag with one arm while pushing a stroller with the other; mysteriously absorbing yogurt spills into her stylish sundress; attending to her children with unwavering enthusiasm while I pooped out on the couch; whipping up star-shaped peanut butter sandwiches like it was second nature—all made me seriously question whether I have what it takes to ever tackle mommyhood.

Honestly folks, I was exhausted. And I wasn’t even doing anything! She was maneuvering through the days like she had three extra arms and mind-reading abilities, and I was lucky to get my underwear on right-side out.

I just don’t know whether I’m equipped to care for other humans. Which is funny because I’ve been a nanny (for twins), an aunt, and a babysitter many, many times over. But I can’t make babies with stuffy noses stop crying. I can’t drive a car with one knee while handing someone in the backseat a sippy cup. I can’t stay awake when I sit on the couch to watch Monsters Inc.

If only Beautiful A would start a Mommy Academy I could attend.

I would think if she read this, she would tell me that these sorts of skill sets develop over time. Than anyone can evolve to be a gorgeous, five-star nurturer/multi-tasker. I did make dinner, do laundry and clean up cat barf last night. Perhaps that's a start…

13 comments:

brookem said...

i think it's just one of those things that you will grow into. my gut tells me that you'd rock motherhood really awesomely.

(my cat barfed last night too, fyi.)

Danielle said...

I will chime in as A until she say's it her self. The mothering thing comes with the delivery of the placenta I swear. Seriously, I felt the same way as you which is why I didn't have any children until I was 36. It just happens. I can change movies and hand her a sippy in the back seat all while driving. Shhh don't tell anyone!

Wow, that was awkward said...

It's amazing what you become capable of when the child is your own. It is truly a miracle - the whole child birthing and subsequent parenthood.

LesleyG said...

I have those moments, too. But I truly believe there is another part of you that is ignited when you become a mother, and your capability and energy expands past what you ever even hoped it would be. Also, just like there's all different kinds of kids, there's all different kinds of parents. For example, maybe your sandwiches won't be star-shaped (which I think is awesome), eh, you will still have sandwiches and that works too.

Anonymous said...

As a brand new mother, everyone feels overwhelmed in the beginning; but it takes very little
time to overcome the obstacles and yes mothering comes natural with the delivery of a baby. The instincts just set in and each day you learn new tricks to the trade.
Once a mother, always a mother, and grandparenting falls right into place where you left off. I can imagine that A is the perfect
mom; because she is perfect in everyother way. But you would be too.
From your mom

Alysha said...

You are too funny! I always think that it has been too long. I don't remember the songs and the stories and I don't know how to tell if a crying baby means I'm hungry, tired, poopy, annoyed or wet. But I still want one. :-)

Mandy's Kidding said...

I'll parrot the others who say that you do grow into it, and it does come with ... being a mother. I'm not very mothering to other people's children. I'm not even all that interested in other people's kids, to be honest.

*Laugh!*

But I swear, I'm a good mom!

The only exceptions to this rule are if you get hit up with some nasty postpartum depression, have a terrible partner, or live in an abusive situation of some sort. Then obviously it will not "come naturally" to be some sort of graceful and easy mother.

Anonymous said...

you are too equipped!! you just don't realize it until you have the kids and then you just do it. that's all.

Rachel said...

oops - that was me - the anonymous one, girl. I mean to say Rachel.

Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks said...

I think there are a lot of things we're equipped to do, but don't call on those skills until they're needed. Parenthood is definitely one of those areas. I'm always exhausted when I'm with my friends and their kids ... but, I really do think it'd be different if it were my own.

geekhiker said...

Don't tell me: she works 80 hours a week too, right? lol

Think of it this way: the skills she had she didn't learn because she wanted to, she learned them because she HAD to. So, of course it became second nature. Right now, you're looking at her and wondering how she figured out how to do it all so easily. Fact is, when the time comes, you will to, because you won't have a choice! :)

blakspring said...

i agree with the rest here that many of these things will come naturally, but keep in mind that not everyone can be like your friend, otherwise all mothers would be perfect. does that make sense? it's like, i might learn to play very basic guitar but i won't be hendrix, and that's totally fine. the most impotant thing will be the love you feel for your child. whether their sandwiches will be star-shaped won't matter.

thecoconutdiaries said...

Um, aren't you that gal that handles worms and composts? Kids will be a breeze after that!