Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Attempting to Speak His Language

As I've mentioned in a couple of other posts, Mr. Wonderful and I have been verbally dancing around the marriage subject quite a bit lately. It seems like every time we're together, one of us makes a comment about something related to matrimony.

When we were in Santa Ynez for my race a week and a half ago, he turned to me out of the blue and said, "Where are we going to go on our honeymoon?" The hospital because I'll be in there for either cardiac arrest or severe burns from spontaneously combusting with excitement when I come down the aisle toward you.

I suggested Capri and warmer regions of Italy. We discussed Spain. We even thought about Japan—which is where we're bent on going for our next big vacation.

Is anyone scratching their head right now wondering why we're talking about honeymoon destinations before we're even engaged? Uh yeah...

So of course amidst all of these discussions, I've started doing research like a maniac. Picture Miss Havisham living in the age of the Internet, bats and rodents crawling in and out of her hair, smeared mascara on her face, her tattered wedding dress rumpled about her. That's exactly who I feel like. The crazy wedding-obsessed lady. I keep rationalizing. it. It's just research. I'm just trying to save time on the backend.

Anywhoo, Mr. W and I were trying a new wine bar this past weekend when the topic came up once again. We were talking about venues and dates and I said, "You know, it could be hard to get a venue in time if we're in a hurry to plan things. Places book up pretty quickly."

He said, "Why don't you start contacting the places you like to find out if they're available?"

Surely Miss Havisham would get quotes and check dates before she had a ring on her finger. It's the only sane thing to do...

"I'm not going to contact places when we're not even engaged yet," I told him. How could I get through to him that this was not acceptable behavior for an unmarried girl? I decided to put it in terms he might understand: "I need you to greenlight the project before I can start production on it."

Take that, Mister Movies!

He just laughed and shook his head...

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

Maybe a book on "Wedding Ettiquette" is in line. Perhaps,
free copy via the mail box.

Jane Moneypenny said...

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm usually more eloquent but I think that summarizes my thoughts.

laura said...

I thought we already discussed how to handle this...make all the arrangements, book the location, and then send him a save the date. That should give him the final push he needs. ;)

Mike129 said...

Haha! He does want to marry you, but perhaps you have to do the proposing.

If that doesn't work, try a shotgun.

:)

Anita said...

TOUCHE, Mel! What a perfect response to his backwards way of thinking. I think it's hilarious that you're just supposed to automatically know what your wedding date is so you can see if the dates are available at the venues.

While these conversations are all GREAT signs of what's to come, to quote the brilliant philosopher, Beyonce, "if you like it then you should have put a ring on it."

And until then, let him be planning on when and how he's popping the question before you open another Bride's Magazine or Martha Stewart Wedding. Trust me, planning it will be WAY more fun when there's a specific time and place and event that you're aiming for.

Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks said...

Good for you for standing your ground! Reminds me of Say Yes to the Dress ... one episode featured this woman who was hellbent on finding her wedding dress. Even though she wasn't engaged. And wasn't even dating anyone. Hello, crazy!

LesleyG said...

I think that's only half-cart-before-the-horse, in my weird terms of measurement, anyway. :) Now, if you were told to book actual wedding details, then that might be off. But a honeymoon without a wedding is just a vacation, right? Never mind. I have no point. I am crazy. :)

Danielle said...

I am going against the grain with my thoughts, but here they are.
Ha, I kinda really like that you are doing this. I think that you two are on so much of the same page that it is just an unspoken aknowledgment. It's romantic in my opinion. You both just know it is going to happen. It is meant to be. Why ruin it with words.
A ring would be nice, but the words, you already know!!!

Dingo said...

Do you really need the official words? Isn't everything he's said already a go-ahead and an indication that you two are already on the same page? Would the bended knee, ring, and script make it more real? Why? I'm not trying to be snarky here, I really want to know.

I know we've already discussed this, you've said that you didn't want to propose because you weren't sure if he was ready or if he would say yes at the time. Do you think he's ready now? If so, PROPOSE!

brookem said...

i can pick up what you're putting down on this one a lot. manfriend and i also talk of honeymoon destinations and bridal parties and such. but i feel like, for me anyway, i don't want to let myself get toooo wrapped up in it, until we're actually engaged.

sounds to me like mr. w is feeling you out a LOT here. i think guys need to do that. see where you're at, before they can be totally 100% ready to propose. i think it's sweet and cute how you two talk about the future. at the same time, i give you kudos for being direct and realistic about it all.

geekhiker said...

I could make some big, long comment, but I've said it all before. Besides, Dingo summed it up nicely. :)

The Coconut Diaries said...

I'm with Dingo. You're not in a position where you need to guess. I think the "where should we go on our honeymoon" is your greenlight.

If he is the planner that I suspect him to be, I bet there is an engagement production in the works...

Sizzle said...

Good for you! It's all well and good to hint at those things and have them come up when you're in a committed relationship but a girl wants a proposal.

Mr. Darcy and I have talked about the kind of wedding we'd want, where we'd like to go on honeymoon, etc. For us it's just a matter of time before he proposes but we've both agreed that we want to live together first and not be in such a rush. But it's hard not to jump ahead to the planning when it is SO EXCITING (and I am a planner by nature). I've already bookmarked some wedding-related ideas.

Are we totally nuts? At least we're both doing it? ;-)

Hannah said...

omgomgomgomgmgomg!
I am giddy over here for you!
But seriously good for you to give him the hollywood lingo. I love it :)

FabuLeslie said...

You said it, sister! Don't go a step further until you get that ring. Men don't understand words. Only actions. They are like my little first graders in so many ways...