Monday, July 26, 2010

Getting What I Deserve

I couldn't help myself last week. There I was, checking my email, when the Cheating Ex's name popped up in my IM active contacts list. I hadn't seen his name in over a year...when he contacted me and I went out of my way to tell him I was going to Paris with Mr. Wonderful.

As soon as I saw him online, the smugness set in.

I was going to tell him I was engaged. Take THAT, Cheating Ex!

I typed, "hey stranger" into an IM window. He didn't write back. But he called. Yikes. And said he had deleted my email address but somehow still had my phone number committed to memory. He asked me to email him and wished me well with my writing.

I could have stopped right there. But I wanted so badly to blow the soot from my happy fire right in his face.

So I wrote him a note and tucked a bunch of small talk around my real reason for contact. I was proud. I intended to make him feel bad. Never a good approach to life...even when a bad guy is involved in the exchange.

The next morning, my ego swelled as I saw a response from him in my email inbox. He congratulated me and said some nice things. And then he told me that he had recently moved in with a girl he was dating. And they too were engaged.

Smug, meet Humbled. Served me right.

14 comments:

Jane Moneypenny said...

Haha, the funny thing is I always go the passive method by not saying anything and letting him find out through friends or Facebook. More often than not, I've gotten messages out the blue apologizing for their assholeness and mentioning that my life seems to be going well. The validation is always nice; you're only human after all! Best revenge is living well. :p

Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks said...

Bwahahahaha ... that's hilarious. I mean, maybe you don't think so, but it's pretty darn funny from here.

It reminds me ... my ex used to call me all the time (even though, ironically, he was the one who did the dumping). He knew Sweets and I were dating and didn't have a problem with continuing to stay in touch. That is, until I told him we got a dog together. That was the last phone call I ever received from him. Makes me wonder why on earth he was keeping such close tabs on me for all that time...

LesleyG said...

Sometimes we need that extra little shove, don't we? ;) A little validation can be nice.

Sizzle said...

Ah, the taste of humble pie. I've had it! ;-)

Mandy said...

I love this! This kind of instant karma happens to me all the time.

Isn't it fun being in Club Human?

Wow, that was awkward said...

Or you could learn nothing from this and raise the ante. Email back telling him how great the sex is and how many times per day you do it. And then tell him how Mr. W can lift a hundred pounds over his head. And then tell him how Mr. W runs like the wind. Do it! It would amuse me greatly.

Mel Heth said...

Jane - We're not Facebook friends and we don't have any mutual friends anymore, so the only way to rub it in his face was to, well, rub it in his face. :P

Nilsa - It's totally funny. I felt like the Universe was laughing at me when it happened. That's pretty funny about your ex - I guess he knew Dog meant Done Deal.

LesleyG - I've gotten enough validation - clearly I needed a lesson in humility. :)

Sizzle - Ha yeah it's a little bitter, but still pretty good.

Mandy - Totally. It's nice when it happens instantly because then there's no debating what it's about.

Wow TWA - Hahaha you crack me up! I think I'll just leave well enough alone. It just occurred to me that he could have been lying! Who knows - maybe he doesn't need me to up the ante. Maybe he's living with his mom again and hasn't been on a date in 2 years. He doesn't need to know that Mr. W has the world's most powerful calves.

[erin] said...

melissa, this is all you. as i read, i was thinking, "she's gonna tell him. she's gonna tell him."

love wow's idea for a response. would be hilarious if the ex then wrote back with another round of one-ups. then, hmm, where could you take it from there?

geekhiker said...

If you go for Wow TWA's plan, you may as well go for broke: send him an invite to the wedding.

Danielle said...

Eh, no matter, you win hands down!

laura said...

Well if he is not lying (which he probably is) then I am sure his fiance is fat, ugly, has bad hair, no personality, and a hairy, pimply ass. Because that's what he deserves.

thecoconutdiaries said...

But you said it first so you win. Winner!!

Anonymous said...

Yea Laura! You go girl! She probably has hairy pits too!

blakspring said...

hey, he could be lying to save face...