Thursday, September 16, 2010

Another Reason I Never Went to Law School

Despite the fact that I consider myself pretty intuitive and well-versed in human behavior and personality quirks, I have an uncanny knack for completely misjudging people.

Like about 50% of the time.

One of the designers I helped interview at work—who received my wholehearted endorsement—turned out to be the worst employee ever. Guys I've dated have gone from Wow-He's-Great to What-Was-I-Thinking in a matter of weeks. People who I've thought were delightfully friendly have turned out to be completely psychotic.

On the flipside, I've often written people off, only to discover later that they're awesome individuals. I couldn't stand my friend C when I met her. I thought she was a total know-it-all and I wanted nothing to do with her. Now she's one of my closest cohorts. And she's not the only person I decided I had nothing in common with, later realizing I was dead wrong.

Even when I first started corresponding with Mr. Wonderful, I was convinced he was some haughty Hollywood player who was only being nice to me because he wanted some action. How incredibly inaccurate my perception was...

It's dangerous, this flaw in my judgment. It causes me to turn over my trust to people who don't necessarily deserve it. And it pushes me to steer clear of people who could positively impact my life.

Maybe I shouldn't worry about this too much because it all usually works out in the end. Maybe my accurate judgment is just late-blooming. Like my bustline.

11 comments:

Jane Moneypenny said...

Oy! As a designer, that worries me all the time that my current new job hates me. eeek! What makes this designer so terrible?

If it makes you feel better, people are on their best behavior on interviews. Unlike potential friends/boyfriends, there's no way of knowing the dark underbelly. It's usually one shot

Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks said...

Maybe you perceived misjudgments are the Universe's way of offering you a colorful life. I mean, imagine how boring life would be if you were always right!!!

Sizzle said...

"Like my bustline" HA HA!

I'm a pretty good judge of character. That is, once I got over being so damn gullible.

Mandy said...

I think I'm a horrible judge of character too. I think it has something to do with me being a bit of a Pollyanna.

TAG said...

So much the better to just expect the best from everyone until they prove they don't deserve it.

Sometimes, you maybe fooled by someone not deserving being well thought of. A small price to pay for the times that giving the benefit of a doubt brings out extraordinary things from those least capable of producing them.

Congrats on the upcoming wedding plans.

TAG

laura said...

That surprises me...it seems like you would be a good judge of character....you seem to read into people so well. I love juding people...umm...I mean reading into people. Oh...and the bustline? I was a late bloomer too. Very late. :) :)

Jeff said...

I was also going to write a post on my blog about misjudging people (odd we should both be inspired on that subject). I'm usually pretty good about sizing people up - the first impression is generally the one that sticks. But for me, most of the time, it's also been the most accurate. Even if the person's trying to be on good behavior (and that fact alone tells you something). But I know what you mean about misjudging. Sometimes you don't think you have any common ground with someone, then BAM, you're trading emails all day and enjoying it more than you'd ever have guessed. Makes me think maybe once in a while I shouldn't go by my first impression.

LesleyG said...

Both my mother and grandmother are impeccably good judges of character, which they have passed on to me. Though I didn't realize that's what it was earlier in life, I've always been able to smell a rat, or BS, or just plain no good from a mile away. And then, as sometimes we humans do, I don't always want to accept the truth, so I'd spend plenty of time telling myself lies about people. Sometimes it is better not knowing! :)

Cheddar Cheese Please said...

I think sometimes you can't help your first judgement/impression of someone it's how you act upon it that matters. Believe it or not I didn't really like Foodie at first or rather didnt think we'd ever be friends (but that was probably because she was just so much better at french than I was, and was super excited and energetic in a class I didnt like at all) If I stuck to my first judgment and didnt give her a chance I'd be short one best friend right now. So as long as you're not stubborn and continue to let people make new impressions every time you see them, then I don't think the first one matters as much

Danielle said...

It has seemed to work out for you in the long run though. :)

blakspring said...

wow, it's nice to know that someone else out there can't read people either. i tend to take people at their word. i think i've gotten better but it's taken a few decades...