Thursday, September 9, 2010

Fiancehood Fine Print

Apparently I didn't read the terms of my ring acceptance carefully enough. If I had, I might've noticed the line in there about how, upon getting engaged, Mr. Wonderful would become bossier. Like to the point that I've had to say, "Dude, you're not the boss of me" many times over.

A few weeks ago, I went to wash my face before bed and my washcloth was missing. "Did you take my washcloth?" I asked him.

"I smelled it and it was musty."

"You smelled my washcloth?"

He nodded.

I'm sure the washcloth was fine. I'd only used it a couple of times. It's not like there was toxic black mold sprouting up all over it. He could've at least asked before throwing it into the hamper...

Last weekend when we were driving to the beach to see Foodie and Preggerington, Mr. W misdirected me on the freeway then insisted that I pull over so he could drive. Of course, once he was behind the wheel he nearly missed the interchange we were supposed to take... Ha! Take that Captain Driver's Seat!

When I told him I was staying up last night to work on wedding invitations, he told me if he were there with me, he would drag me to bed. I pictured him in a fur loincloth carrying a big club and pulling me across the carpet by my ponytail.

If he were here right now, he'd probably tell you that I've been bossier toward him, too. Like when I told him I was going to do monthly inspections on the garage after we cleaned it out. (You have no idea what kind of brain damage a person can incur after sorting 9,435,687 different nails and screws for 2 hours). Or the way I picked out his shirt for our family portrait this past weekend.

The difference between us, though, is that he has great ways to retaliate. He gives me the "Yes, ma'am" a lot which drives me crazy. And the shirt incident caused him to call me by my mother's name. Not that there's anything wrong with that, Mom... My retaliation? "Dude, you're not the boss of me."

I think this is the beginning of a beautiful life of power struggles...

14 comments:

Mr. W. said...

I only throw them in the laundry so your face doesn't smell musty...again.

Mel Heth said...

Mr. W - Now I'm totally going to keep hidden musty washcloths around the house just so I can come to bed with stinkface.

Mr. W. said...

Almost Mrs. W - Well that's why you'll have a guest room to sleep in. With the cats.

Mel Heth said...

Hahahaha pre-nup, here we come!

Big Sister said...

This is getting good!!! Keep bossing her around Mr. W. She's been bossing people around for years and she needs a good dose of her own medicine!

Sizzle said...

Oh dear. We're having enough trouble adjusting to cohabitation...I don't know if we can endure bossing each other around if we get engaged. ;-)

LesleyG said...

Well, I had a comment until I read the other comments. Now I just want to sit and watch. :)

Scribe said...

My guy calls me by my mother's name too - Jesus Christ Margaret. Apparently, it's a family name now.

mom said...

The princess hasn't had a boss in the house for years;
so go for it Mr. W - it's part of the "molding process"
Were you cleaning out the garage for the goat!

Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks said...

Both your mom and sister are siding with Mr. W ... uh oh ... I see a civil war in your future. hahaha.

If it makes you feel better, in order to drive me batshitcrazy, all Sweets has to do is say Yes, Dear to whatever it is I'm asking of him. And you know what? It works. Every. Single. Time. Sigh.

Danielle said...

You guys are so damn cute!

laura said...

Let me get this straight...you are now laying out the "flat man"? You and Mr. W. can look forward to years of wedded bliss!! :)

geekhiker said...

Just wait til you reach the point where you start withholding sex until you get what you want. THEN he'll know who the boss of the household is...

blakspring said...

i thought it was just women (or perhaps just me) that goes behind the man's back to put stuff in the hamper, etc. interesting...
at least he's clean. i love ron russo but he is a slobster and it drives me crazy.