Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Strangers with Comments

A friend who I once worked with in advertising has a fantastic blog that I love to read. She's always writing really inspiring, moving posts. And I cannot help but comment on them. Actually, I can't help but comment on most of my friends' and readers' blogs. I want to let you all know I'm listening. I hear you. I relate to you. You're not alone. And you should keep on trudging through if you're stuck in thick mud.

Apparently, some people don't subscribe to this way of thinking. One of the guys who reads my friend's blog, dedicated an entire post to me—and how my continual, perky attitude annoys the pants off of him every time he sees one of my comments. Unfortunately, he took said post down after I commented on it. Perhaps it was a test just to see if, as usual, I'd have something to say.

When I started this blog nearly 3 years ago, I didn't know how things worked in this space. I didn't know whether it was cool to chime in or better to keep your mouth shut. But then I sort of fell into a wonderful circle. I noticed the same people writing responses on each other's posts again and again. And the next thing I knew, they were commenting on my posts. This led to lots of really insightful, meaningful offline conversations—and several meetups with new friends.

The comments I receive from all of you usually light me up. Sure, I can count a handful of remarks that made me seethe. But for the most part, the things people have to say make me think. Make me smile. Make me want to keep writing. And because of that, I want to pay the kindness forward to other writers.

Do I dole out tough love on occasion? Totally. Do I harass people? Mostly only Brett. But that's out of love. I never intentionally try to hurt people or put them down. I try to find the bright side—and send goodness their way with words. Apparently to some, that makes me too chipper and irritating.

When I was in high school, I did try out for cheerleading. I did not make it. Instead, I became a writer/editor for my yearbook. I guess those to paths weren't as opposing as I once thought.

19 comments:

Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks said...

You know, I think there is a difference between writing comments that always say "I AGREE" without further commentary and positive comments that are encouraging and insightful. I've always felt your comments fall into the later group, not the annoying former group. And that guy who is annoyed by your comments ... it's not like he HAS to read them ... why would he bother writing a whole post about you and instead just skip over what you have to say. The nerve of some people!!! =)

Wow, that was awkward said...

Funny you posted this just as I have been IMing you (and you aren't answering, tapping foot..). We don't even know each other, but I forget that all the time. You are one of the good ones Mel.

I remember commenting on a blog you did about Mr. W being bored with you or something. I think I said I was bored with your blog and was going to take off. That was a good seething moment. I believe your sister offered to stomp on my head with her stiletto. Made me all warm and fuzzy inside.

brookem said...

i always enjoy your thoughtful comments. they're real and genuine and i don't think you over sugar coat things or anything. tough luck for the dude that has an issue with them. he devoted a whole post to complaining about it? geesh, dont people have better things to do?!

laura said...

Even though I don't have a blog, so I don't see your comments...I am sure your posts are approrpiate and never too chipper. You have the gift of words - saying the right thing at the right time - so I'm sure that it's him that is the problem. Jerk.

Oh...and in response to Awkward's post...I didn't know your sister owned a pair of stilettos.

Cheddar Cheese Please said...

I think it's awesome that you comment as often as you do. Not being hesitant to share what you're think and making it positive and encouraging at the same time is an amazing quality to have. (and I think everyone should just feel lucky that you're choosing to share it with them).

Our mutual favorite person in the world, Foodie, showed me your blog 2.5 years ago (when you wrote about men being incapable of multitasking)and I have been a faithful reader every since. Although I never really comment- (I usually just text Foodie my thoughts about everything you say)I felt obliged to say something now to say keep up the comments and recommendations of all the other awesome blogs you read.

and just like you inspired Foodie to start her own blog, you've inspired me to take the baby step and comment on all the blogs I read whether I know the person or not.... because really isn't that the point of this whole blogosphere in the first place...

Mel Heth said...

Nilsa - If I start writing "I agree" on all your posts, will you mail me a pipe bomb? :P You're totally right - we don't have to read each other's comments. He needs to learn to block me out.

WowTWA - I'm sure you'll be disappointed, but my sister doesn't own stilettos. She may be able to stand on your face with a slipper or a flip-flop though. You know I heart you - you never make me seethe.

Brookem - Thank you, sweet girl. You make me feel better. :)

Laura - You're so kind. And I don't think it's just because we're related. No, sister totally doesn't own stilettos. If she did, the husband would be forcing her to wear them every night.

Cheddar Cheese Please - I think I love you. Seriously, your comment made my night. I think I know who you are, but I'm not totally sure. :) I'm very proud of you for commenting though! We writers appreciate it immensely!

Danielle said...

I think I do the same as you do. I try to comment on everyone that I read because I actually care. I also love seening comments on my posts. It tells me that you care.
I think you are awesome!

Mandy said...

That freak is obviously a sociopath.

There's my bright and cheery comment for him. Also, you should tell him to kiss your ass.

*Snicker*

LesleyG said...

I always appreciate your comments. They are insightful and always prove you read the post, unlike some who clearly skimmed or didn't care to pay attention.
The dude who has issue with positivity and contribution in a SOCIAL COMMUNITY can take a hike.

Rachel said...

Well I for one only comment to make you seethe ;)

does it work? lol...j/k baby! I hope I'm not in that handful!

Jeff said...

Maybe he was just having some fun with you and that's why he took the post down after you read it. Either way, the nerve of that guy. Maybe you'll leave a comment on one of his posts that he'll appreciate (or maybe you already have), and then he'll recognize the time and effort you put into it was actually very thoughtful and considerate and he'll see you in a different light. That'll teach him to joke a little rough with you, Or maybe it won't. You know sometimes sociopaths aren't so quick on the uptake.

Mel Heth said...

Danielle - You're so sweet. Just one more reason the men find you intimidating... :P

Mandy - Right for the jugular! I'm totally hiring you as my bodyguard and PR specialist if I ever become famous.

Lesley - Thanks! I always appreciate your comments, too. And you raise a good point: this IS a social community! We're supposed to be social butterflies.

Rachel - Your comments never make me seethe! They've made me feel like I need to do more 'splaining. Or alternate-nostril breathing. But never seethe. :)

Jeff - You're so right - that guy is just a big prankster but inside he's really sweet and probably loves reading my drippy comments and schmoopy nicknames. I'm so glad I've seen the other side of him. Now I know for sure he's not a sociopath.

geekhiker said...

I think comments are a lot like e-mails: they are easy to misinterpret. Like all written communication, without seeing face or inflection, sometimes things are misread or misconstrued. Sadly, we can't all correspond like John Adams and his wife...

For me, rarely do I comment on other commenters comments (say that three times fast). I figure the comments are intended for the writer of the post!

Mel Heth said...

Geekhiker - I have no idea what you mean by that email misinterpretation comment... :) :) It's probably best not to comment on others' comments - but sometimes I think we all just can't help ourselves.

Rachel said...

ha ha ha!!! let's call it ANB from now on. Like - "that made me so mad, I had to ANB all night." I'm lame.

Mel Heth said...

Rach - ANB, it is. I love it!

Anita said...

Sometimes I miss blogging because I miss reading YOUR comments. You always know what to say.

So if writing or cheerleading don't work out, you can always try being a therapist or motivational speaker. :)

Jane Moneypenny said...

If you ever read comments from any site, there are just some stupid people out there. As in life, ignore and move on (easier said than done). Comments are definitely hard to come by, but you seem to be doing awesome!

I'm thinking of ending my blog, for the sole sake that my life is really quite dull.

blakspring said...

sounds like a jerk. some people can't deal with other people's happiness or contentment. just forget him. i love your comments and they reflect who you are. don't change that.