Thursday, October 28, 2010

Because How Else Would I Sign Escrow Papers?

I knew that buying a house could be stressful. I think I've heard that it's a line item on The Most Stressful Life Events List. But for some reason, I really didn't think it would be so bad. I figured that with Mr. Wonderful's extensive real estate knowledge and my stellar credit history, the whole process would be a snap.

Oh, how the Universe loves to eff with naive people.

Every step of this process has been riddled with mishaps, hassles and anxiety. It sort of felt to me like if it could go wrong, it did go wrong. The funny thing is that for almost 3 months, I sat waiting to hear whether all the banks associated with the home's short sale would be willing to accept my discounted offer. 3-stress-free months that I should have used to gear up for the past 4 weeks.

Because once we got the go-ahead, all hell broke loose. Papers were faxed (long distance in one case) back and forth, then deemed unreadable. Documents were misplaced. Parties involved were misnamed. Deadlines were missed—spawning even more stressful deadlines to try to make up time. The clock was constantly ticking. My heart was constantly palpitating. And most of the time, I didn't even fully understand what was going on because Mr. W was acting as the point person for a lot of stuff.

Given how things had been playing out, I should have known that I would have to sign my final escrow papers yesterday. The day of my company Halloween party and potluck. And I should have known that another ridiculous deadline would call for me to drive to the escrow office...dressed in my zombie bride costume...rather than have the notary come to me. I should have also expected that I'd be waltzing into Chase bank in that same costume to make a wire transfer. Feel like a tool much? Um, yeah.

I can't exhale about the whole thing yet because we haven't officially closed, and of course there's an issue still up in the air that could make or break the deal. I'm hoping all works out and that by Tuesday I'm toasting the new house and stopping the heart palpitations. Otherwise, I may turn into that zombie bride permanently.


LesleyG said...

This may be one of my favorite posts of yours ever! Good luck with everything! The exhale at the end is so sweet, as I'm sure you can imagine after all that.

P.S. GREAT costume!

You've Got to Be Kidding Me said...

That costume is so amazing I want to steal it.

blakspring said...

you are awesome. i bet that was the most exciting thing to happen to those bank employees all year. you should really throw them off and walk in like that in the summer!

Anonymous said...

Wait, you don't dress like that for work every day? Plus, I've heard working indoors all day at an office job can make one's skin a bit pale...

Sizzle said...

That costume is awesome. I love that you had to do important things in it. Gives you a sense of flair and fun. :-)

Fingers crossed this all works out asap for you!

Mel Heth said...

Lesley - Ha I'm glad you liked it. (Post and costume.) I really feel like I sort of look like the zombie even without makeup right now!

Mandy - If you can believe it, I sewed that little bastard by hand. It was a huge pain in the butt and I'm so glad my mom is buying me a sewing machine for Christmas.

Blakspring - Haha the bank employees were totally unfazed by me. The escrow people got a kick out of it though and told me I was the first person they ever had sign papers dressed in costume.

Geekhiker - I'm telling you - that's just what I look like normally in my nightgown and no makeup!

Sizzle - It was pretty embarrassing - particularly because it was Thursday. Friday I'm sure more people were dressed up. But it makes for a good story! Thanks for the well wishes. :)

Alysha said...

You are one good looking Zombie Bride though! :) Hope everything is coming to a close and you are breathing a little better. It would definitely make my day to have you walk into my work in such a great outfit ;0)