Tuesday, April 19, 2011

A Slight Case of the WhatNows

Mr. Wonderful and I have only been married for a month and already we're in a funk. Okay, not really a funk but a sort of hazy jumping-off point. The dress has been packed. Gifts have been stowed. Thank you cards have been sent. We finally have our freedom back (if you don't count the backyard and its continual beckoning for us to come out and dig it up).

With all this time and mental space on our hands, we've both been feeling a growing sense of What Now?

I guess this is why so many married couples scoot right on to having babies. (Don't get any ideas, I'm not on that track AT ALL.) I thought we'd get to this point, I just didn't realize it would be so soon.

Maybe it's all my Turning 35 baggage weaseling its way into our relationship. But Mr. W seems just as antsy as I am.

We want to put color to our goals. We want to define the dream details so we can start working toward them. But there are so many possibilities. And the ultimate goal we keep coming back to is at least 5, if not 10, years off. So what do we do in the meantime?

This is sort of the plaguing question.

Do we just keep plugging away in our current life situations? Do we go live somewhere foreign in a year while Mr. W works on a film? (Doesn't seem possible with our collective mortgages, but maybe...) Do we try to somehow downsize in an effort to get closer to the early retirement we both crave? Should we build that chicken coop and get a couple hens?

We sat down the other night and tried to start brainstorming a list of words to describe the kind of life we'd like to build from here. It pretty much led us to believe we need to win the lottery and move to wine country where we'll run a dozen different odd job businesses.

Mr. W tells me I need to write a bestseller. I guess my What Now should really be a Write Now. I'll get right on that, Mr. W...


LesleyG said...

Well, of course you should be writing that best seller. Duh. :) But I understand what you mean. Even under different circumstances, I know that feeling of What Now after big decisions or events.
I agree, the only logical next step is to win the lottery and go from there.

The Real Mom said...

Enjoy and smell the flowers. You don't always have to follow a plan. Life happens. Relax. When you retire,
you will once again say "What now". Making goals one year at a time if fine.
Been there.

Sizzle said...

You just took a major life step so it seems natural to feel a bit of that "what next" feeling. Heck, I feel that on a smaller scale whenever I complete a major event. But this is a good time for the two of you to enjoy just BEING. It's hard to do, especially for planner types like us, but someday you might be so busy with kids or what have you that you will wish you had relished in this "down time" period of your relationship.

laura said...

WHAT NOW? Ummm...don't you have a fabulous honeymoon coming up very soon??? :)

Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks said...

Yesterday on Oprah, she interviewed a big time movie director (I think) who made millions, bought the life, realized it's not what he wanted and totally downsized (to a mobile home and a bike). His latest project is a movie called, I Am, and it's about seeking your own happiness. Oprah's comment about the movie was, take your best friend, because you'll be talking for hours after the movie. Sounds like it might be a great date night for you and Mr. W to start talking about and answering those questions.

Raao said...

Congrats to you and yours.
"What Now..."
You have the answer, I await
your new & first work.
Happy writing :)

Anonymous said...

You're decompressing. It's just like when you get sick after having a cold: the body & mind needs a bit of time to recover.

As for pursuing dreams and all that, I suppose I could send you back the things you've been telling me over the years. Not so easy on the other side, is it? ;)

But if you do write a bestseller, or any book for that matter, will I get an autographed copy?

HHP said...

Sounds like you need to sign up for a race! :)

Anonymous said...

I agree with everyone else, you're coming down from a tremendous high. You need something new. I vote for chickens but only as long as they lay Peeps.

blakspring said...

wouldn't be great to do everything? to live in two different places at once, to have kids and not have them? with each choice, you turn down many others. but for now, relaxing will do you good. just let yourself be.