Monday, May 23, 2011

If Only Intuition Spoke a Little Louder

I felt off the minute we stepped onto the train.

We were hurrying along with the crowd and when Mr. Wonderful tossed our suitcases into the designated storage area, my stomach twinged.

Then as we walked almost the entire length of the train car to get to our seats, I thought, "We should move the luggage closer."

A beggar woman came through our car after we'd been in motion for thirty or forty minutes, and again I had an uneasy feeling. But I said nothing.

When we reached our destination, my suitcase had vanished.

The sickening feeling of discovering that was worse than when I've been robbed before. This was my honeymoon. And I'd purchased a bunch of (not so cheap) new clothes for it. And I'd been so selective about the souvenirs I chose for my nieces. And the little reminders Mr. W and I would take home to keep around and smile at and think of our special trip together.

I ran down the platform, whipping my head in every direction trying to spot the person who had taken my bag. Mr. W searched every car on our train.

I'm sure my suitcase got off 3 stops before we did.

And so I began to wonder if it was intuition or manifestation that was at play before we left. Should I have trusted my instincts? Or had my worry put an energy into the Universe that caused my feared outcome to come true? I asked my friend Janice what she thought when we met her for a drink by the Pantheon. Janice knows stuff. She has a Master's Degree in Spiritual Psychology.

She said it was intuition for sure.

Unfortunately, that almost made me feel worse. If only I'd listened to that little uncomfortable voice. Maybe I'd have my favorite turquoise sweater and the underwear I'd worn on my wedding day now.

I like to think that I'm not a huge "stuff" person. I regularly purge things from my life and donate them to Goodwill. I'm not a person who needs to own a $500 purse or fancy jewelry. I am a sucker for things with sentimental value, though. And maybe that's why this is hitting me so hard (still...even though I've been home for 2 days...). I feel like the world stole my nostalgia. I won't be able to put on my sundresses and remember how I wore them in Capri. I won't be able to look at the bottle of olive oil in my kitchen with the little lemon stopper on top and think about our stay in Ravello.

I know I'm being a big baby. They're only things. No one was hurt. It's all replaceable. But it sure was a stinky way to end an amazing trip.

I'm hoping I'll get over it soon.

11 comments:

Mandy_Fish said...

I was trying to think of something wise I've learned about my own lessons in impermanence and the only thing I could think of was of how painful and necessary those lessons were. But the "necessary" realization didn't come until much, much later. At first there was only pain.

I'm sorry that you are experiencing that part right now.

It sucks!

LesleyG said...

Ah, dang. I'm sorry. Things are allowed to be special to us, and it would take me a long while to get over it, too.
Maybe one day in the not-so-far future you can look back and say "I learned more about my intuition on my honeymoon" but you don't have to say that today. For right now you can be a little pissed. :)

Glad you're back, if only to see a few more Italy photos!

Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks said...

That sucks. Hugs. That's all. =(

Jane Moneypenny said...

Wah! You're just like me with the intuition. Every time I've ignored it, it's punched me back in the face.

I think it's 100% legit to feel this way and it has nothing to do with stuff. Like you, I'm attached sentimentally to items b/c we're emotionally strong people.

Praying to St. Anthony that it'll magically show up.

Rachel said...

you are totally allowed to be sad about those losses!! wouldn't we all...no matter how much we hate to admit it? don't feel bad about feeling bad. lol. At least the trip was great.

laura said...

yup...I'd be pissed! and you should be too! but glad you had a great trip...

geekhiker said...

Bummer. Lousy way to end a great trip. But at least you'll always have the memories... and a good excuse to go back!

Sizzle said...

I don't think you are being a baby. It's violating to have your stuff stolen and I'm also nostalgic and would be feeling equally sad about that turn of events.

Maybe you can make a scrapbook of photos with memories that will help you feel like you still have lots of things to look back on and remember the wonderful trip?

hunnerwoof.com said...

I'm sorry about the sour note at the end of the trip. It's definitely one of those things you deserve to be grumpy and sad about for a while. And, this is why I only ever travel with a backpack that stays with me at all times.

Mel Heth said...

Mandy - I think what you said IS wise. I'm already feeling better about things. Seeing all my pictures reminded me that they're really the only souvenir that mattered. And the clothes are (mostly) all replaceable.

LesleyG - It was totally a lesson in intuition. I'm never questioning that one again! I'll try to post more pics (or maybe send you a link to my FB album).

Nilsa - Thanks, dear. :)

Jane - I was totally praying to St. Anthony, but I'm not sure he handles stolen items, only lost ones. :)

Rachel - Yes, the bottom line is that the trip (or 12 days of it, at least :) was great!

Laura - Yeah I'm getting over it. And I already ordered replacement jeans and went on a big shopping spree!

Geekhiker - I for sure have to go back now. And next time, I'll keep a close eye on my bags!

Sizzle - Thank you. :) There will for sure be a scrapbook. Seeing my pictures this week definitely made me feel better about the whole thing.

Hunnerwoof - I usually only travel with a backpack, but this was a 2-weeker, so I had to have a rolling carryon too. I will NEVER leave my luggage unattended again after this!

blakspring said...

oh no...i was just catching up on your posts and marvelling at the beautiful photos and incredible time you had, and then i read this. i am so so sorry that this happened to you, and especially on your honeymoon. i almost started crying when i read this (especially after my wallet incident last month.) it sucks that things that are valuable for sentimental reasons, that mean so much, can be stolen by some asshole looking to make a dishonest buck. i am so angry right now. how dare someone take things that belong to someone else!

and i agree that it was intuition. i had the same feeling and reacted too late. it's a sucky lesson to learn :(