How many little decisions do we make every day? A million? A million and fifty? We decide to get out of bed, decide what to wear, what to eat for breakfast, whether or not to ogle Matt Lauer on the Today Show.
Our little choices are a piece of cake. But the big ones are more like deadly blowfish sushi. One nibble in the wrong direction, and your eyes could be rolling back into your head.
In the past few months, I've watched several friends curse, cry and cower under the stress of having to make a big decision. Some of these weren't even full-fledged binding agreements yet—just possibilities of future changes. But they were overwhelming and angst-inducing nonetheless. And I found myself telling each one, again and again, that if they just waited, the right answer would come to them.
I'm a huge fan of pro and con lists, but when it comes down to it, I think the universe and your gut will always lead you in the right direction. It's just a matter of watching and listening.
This gets complicated when the decision is a collaborative effort. In that case, I think it is the responsibility of both parties to be open to signs, one another's intuition, and perhaps even a scorecard of pluses and minuses.
But keep in mind, there is never a case where one person should "blame" the other for a decision. "You made me do it" is a completely unfair and unacceptable statement. We are each accountable for our own choices, and although it may be tempting, we should never, ever try to put the onus on someone else when we decide to do or not do something. Do not ever let anyone make you feel guilty for a choice THEY made. You may have influenced them, but it was THEIR decision. And they must be responsible for the consequences of that decision.
You are entitled to express yourself without having your thoughts or feelings later held against you. Remember that.
Now excuse me while I decide what to eat for lunch...