Sunday, April 26, 2009

Inaugural Panic Attack

I come from a long line of high anxiety relatives, and it continually surprises me that I've yet to have a panic attack. I keep thinking one will strike while I'm driving down an unfamiliar street or getting ready to board a plane. But nope. Never anything beyond stomach butterflies.

Until Friday.

I was standing in the checkout line at Target. Like lots of other Fridays, I had stopped off there on my way home to pick up some necessities. But as I looked down into my shopping cart, it seemed my worst-nightmare future was staring back at me. There in the red plastic basket were a bottle of $5 wine, cat food, cat litter and scrapbooking supplies.

I began to feel faint.

I tried a little deep breathing. Plenty of people shop for those exact same things. Married people. People with children. People whose boyfriends live on the same continent.

Then I went home and drank half the bottle of wine.

12 comments:

surrogate big sis said...

I am sure your scrapbooking pages were a lot more creative!

Big Sister said...

That wasn't a real panic attack - just a dose of reality. Nothing some wine can't fix. My first real panic attack was on my wedding day!

laura said...

why did you stop at just half the bottle? you should've finished it off

Hannah said...

Target has that effect on people. All the screaming kids, the long lines, the great prices that make you spend at least $100 on every trip there. But no worries, you are not a crazy cat lady. And even if you were, you would still be the coolest cat lady around.

geekhiker said...

You really shouldn't let silly societal expectations lead you down the panic attack road...

Sizzle said...

That sounds like something that would happen to me. Minus the boyfriend living on another continent.

varietyisthespice said...

HAHA, I go through this often, especially on a Friday night. Reality check. Then "wtf?" and "oh man." I go home and eat ice cream and do it again the week after. :P - Jane

Anonymous said...

That's my typical trip to the store - unless a pair of shoes are added!

Mel Heth said...

Surrogate Sis - I didn't even end up working on the scrapbook that night. Just drinkin' wine and watchin' TV. :)

Sister - I know it wasn't a real panic attack. It was just a little too close to the scene in my novel where the main character sees a woman in the grocery store with only boxed wine and cat food in her basket and she panics it will be her someday. Only I wasn't looking at another person's basket, I was looking at my own.

Laura - Good point. You don't make scrapbooks of Berny and Holly do you? :P

Hannah - I usually can't get out of that store without spending a fortune. It takes a lot of restraint to stick to my list. And thank you for telling me I'm a cool cat lady...even though I think that might be an oxymoron.

Geekhiker - Oh you're so right. But the pressure is so strong...especially when you're a girl. With cats.

Sizzle - How do you know he's not on another continent? He could be pining away for you in Dublin or something right now! :) It makes me feel better that others could find themselves with similar cart contents.

Variety - Ice cream DOES help. And perhaps limiting my shopping lists to only 2 of the 3 dangerous products at a time might help too. :P

Mom - I'm not sure you're making me feel better. Now I'm a crazy, drunk, scrapbooking cat lady who is becoming her mother...

Mandy's Kidding said...

My god. Give a girl a warning when you're going to switch to the horror genre.

*Shivers*

thecoconutdiaries said...

If it makes you feel better, my last trip had me checking out 10 yogurts, a Lady Gaga CD, trailmix, deodorant, and baby wipes. Feel better?

Wow, that was awkward said...

Ten old farts at the Sarasota Panera just looked at me as my laugh out loud penetrated their hearing aids.