Sunday, April 5, 2009

The Magnificence of Mammaries

I'm training for another half marathon. After the Nike Women's Run last fall, I said I'd never do another race...but here I am again. There's a twist to this one, though, that makes it sort of irresistible. It's through Santa Ynez, CA and it ends with a wine tasting. You literally run across the finish line into a little wine tasting convention. If that isn't a great reward for 13.1 miles, I don't know what is.

The other great twist is that one of my oldest and dearest friends, we'll call her Jugs, is joining me for the race. She's never done one herself, so it's been great fun getting her pumped up for it and doing training runs together.

One of the best parts of the training runs is watching the way people react to Jugs when we jog by. Not having a rockin' rack myself, I've never experienced the joy-spreading phenomenon of big bouncing boobies. But man-oh-man, is it entertaining and astonishing how men suddenly become giddy when graced with Jugs' presence. Whether they're staring blankly into a store window, squinting at the bright sun or scowling at their wives, when Jugs comes into their line of sight, they slip into an elated state and suddenly contort into a huge grin.

Our runs are often filled with my commentary, "Did you see that one? Smiling from ear to ear." "Oh he just about did a tap dance." "Whoa two at once!" I have never seen so many men become so unabashedly happy over something so simple. It is hilarious.

This weekend, I was doling out my normal comments when Jugs told me that her assets entice even when she's fake running. Apparenly two elderly gentlemen came into the cafe where she works and asked for a dessert recommendation. She told them how last weekend we were running and, the last half mile or so, all we could talk about was how we were going to go home and eat chocolate bread pudding from her cafe. As she recounted the story to them, she mime-ran in place.

Despite her enthusiastic suggestion, the men ended up skipping dessert altogether. I believe they got enough sugar from Jugs' story, though, because they left her an $8 tip on a $20 bill...

15 comments:

Jane Moneypenny said...

So I happen to be one with the big boobs problem. When I go running (and by running, I mean walking), I keep my cell phone in my sports bra and men are fascinated by this. Interesting to say the least!

charlotteharris said...

ha ha ha! jugs has a good sense of humor!

SoMi's Nilsa said...

That's awesome you have a running partner, especially one who provides ready-made entertainment!

Wow, that was awkward said...

One may as well maximize the benefits of one's assets.

Lara Watkins said...

Aahhh Jugs. I have been enticed a time or two as well.

Dingo said...

I bet those gentlemen are going to ask for that story with accompanying re-enactment ever time they come in.

Lara said...

That is hilarious! Not being boobalicious myself, I can't even imagine. Sigh.

geekhiker said...

What, no accompanying video? ;)

Joking aside: does she find she gets better service at restaurants, stores, etc?

laura said...

that is great! at least she is having fun with them!

Sizzle said...

Now that's a big tip! Must be some really awesome jugs she's sporting. :-)

justrun said...

A) That sounds like a great race. Where do I sign up?

B) I have a bit of a jugs issue myself, and let me tell you Moving Comfort bras have been the best. Just one juggy gal looking out for another. :)

Anonymous said...

Maybe your friend Jugs spent the first 30 years of her life being the butt of every flat chested joke out there.... maybe it's time Jug's Jugs got a little love...

thecoconutdiaries said...

Hooray for another member of the Big Boobie Brigade! We need $12 tips from dirty old men since our bras are so freakin' expensive.

Big Sister said...

I feel bad that I hogged all the boobs in the family, and didn't save any for you. Maybe I should take up running.

Alysha said...

Too funny! When you were telling me about her, I thought how terrible it would be to train with those assets! I never considered all the happiness and joy it could bring!