Tuesday, July 13, 2010

All at Once

I remember thinking in 2003 that my world might collapse. I had moved into a new (more expensive) apartment, and the next thing I knew, the rug came out from under me. My cat got sick and accrued a rash of astronomical vet bills. The guy I had been dating broke up with me. And a week later, I found out I was getting laid off from my job.

I was in debt, broken-hearted, and completely uncertain of where I was headed.

I can vividly recall lying on my back, on the living room floor, sobbing. It wasn't the first time I'd done it. My last apartment's ceiling had witnessed break-up breakdowns, too. More than once.

I wanted that soft, off-white plaster to just suck me up into it and spit me out somewhere else where I didn't feel so lost and sad.

I wonder if caterpillars cry when they outgrow their cocoons and have to move on to being totally different little insect beings.

Obviously, despite what felt like a very heavy load, I came through that hard time. Having all that tough stuff thrust my way at once only made me stronger and more prepared to deal with difficult times in my future.

In the last couple weeks, I've been feeling my mental and emotional cocoon begin to crack again—but this time it's because of more exciting things. This time, the butterfly doesn't really have too many tears of sorrow...maybe just some tears of joy.

As I've confessed on this blog, I've been researching and starting to pre-plan some wedding stuff. Mr. Wonderful made the mistake of giving me an inch and I grabbed hold and ran a half marathon with it. Then we started talking about the living situation. And the next thing I knew, I was filling out loan paperwork and boarding the real estate roller coaster.

I'm at that tipping point of change and it's so very exciting to me this time around.

Feeling so confident in my load-bearing abilities, I must have put a vibe out into the world that said, "Go ahead! Lay it on even thicker! I'm READY!"

And the Universe responded.

Saturday afternoon, in the lovely golden hills of San Luis Obispo, Mr. Wonderful asked me to marry him. Oh, how I'm relishing this all at once.


18 comments:

Big Sister said...

Finally you posted it!!!!!!! I've been ready to burst! I'm going to be a sister-in-law again!!!!!!!!!!

[erin] said...

WOOHOO and congrats! isn't it amazing how everything falls in place and the issues of the past become a blur as the future becomes more clear?!?

Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks said...

I'm all teary in excitement for you. I bought a home with my husband to be and got married all within a few months of each other. It's such an amazingly exciting time - relish it while it lasts! PS - I couldn't think of a more deserving person to have all these sky high experiences!!

Christina said...

How wonderful. Congratulations!

Life is filled with the ups and downs and I am so happy to read that you are on the ups!

Mandy's Kidding said...

*Girl scream!*

Mike129 said...

Yay!!! Congratulations!

Um, I guess that means you won't be marrying me then, huh? :(

Sizzle said...

You know I am over the moon for you. And that ring is gorgeous. Hooray for love!

Danielle said...

Congratulations! I am so happy for both of you!!!!!
Beautiful ring!

brookem said...

yay!!! i can't tell you enough how happy i am for you! you deserve all of the happiness in the world! xoxo

Ericka said...

I'm one of those lurkers who reads but doesn't normally comment so please don't find it crazy that I am all teary eyed and excited for you. Congrats to you and Mr. Wonderful!! Enjoy every moment!

Mermanda said...

I really did get goosebumps and teary when I saw that ring! I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU! Finally! Yay!!!! A million congratulations!

Wow, that was awkward said...

I IM'd you, but wanted to say congrats here too. I can't tell you how overjoyed I am at the prospect of reading your non-stop wedding blog. I really can't tell you that. Heh heh. Good job Mel. Mr. W is a lucky man...

Jane Moneypenny said...

Argh, I was first to comment and it didn't accept it!

CONGRATS!! I swear I was just telling you a few posts ago this would be happening. Send some mojo this way!

I'M SO SO SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!

LesleyG said...

Oh, yay! I am so happy for you! I wish I could celebrate with you. Enjoy this time, you deserve all the happiness in the world!

blakspring said...

oh my gosh, congratulations! what great news. i'm so happy for you. you sound so happy and ready and just in the right place.
ps - i hope this doesn't sound weird but you have very nice hands :)

Mel Heth said...

Thank you all so much! It's been so much fun telling people - thanks for all the great responses and congratulations. :)

thecoconutdiaries said...

YYYEEEAAHHH! Although, you realize every one of us expects to be invited to the wedding. Don't worry...I'll break the news to the people who just aren't as important as I and, therefore, can send presents in lieu of their presence.

geekhiker said...

When I came back from my trip to see that your blog had no less than seven new entries in my reader, I somehow had my suspicions. :)

Congratulations!