Thursday, August 19, 2010

Coming to a Theater Near You

It occurred to me recently that all the carefully planned elements of a wedding come together to create more of a stage production than an intimate exchange of promises by two people. Sure, you can arrange it so there's just the two of you, vowing to love for a lifetime. But most traditional weddings today are so much more about costumes, stage cues and set decor. Some are unabashedly about the spectacle of it all (I've been watching too many episodes of My Fair Wedding with David Tutera).

Even just thinking about the fact that someone "backstage" will have to start a wedding march before I can walk out seems weird to me when I stop and think about it. There's so much choreography that I just never noticed.

I guess any moron would have realized that events requiring rehearsals are productions of some sort—but again, I'd never really thought about this.

It's kind of strange. Who are we doing it all for? Do the people we love really care what we're wearing and whether our first dance is timed correctly between cocktails and dinner? Or do they care only that we've found a match and are taking a committed step forward together?

I honestly don't know the answer. And I'm too far deep into it now to really even start this line of questioning. But it seems odd when I stop and consider it.

8 comments:

Sizzle said...

We can talk about this tonight (hooray!) because I definitely have thoughts on it. I do, after all, want to be the choreographer for weddings basically. Weddings are a bit of a show and spectacle but it's this once in a lifetime opportunity, right? I do see why some people elope or have very small weddings. Less details. Less to worry about.

Jane Moneypenny said...

I will say this, I know people that are VERY judgmental on other weddings and often say, "Well, at MY wedding, we did this, etc." Other brides are very possessive of their wedding experiences, even the most low-maintenanced ones.

Every bride wants to hear that her wedding is the best and the most fun, and having been a bridesmaid a few times, it's what I say (true or not).

But at the end of the day, it's just you and what you want and it's you that's going to remember it. So screw others!

Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks said...

You know, the beautiful thing about weddings is they are what you make them to be. Some people absolutely love the choreographed dance that is the ceremony and reception. Others like to let things flow with the momentum of the evening. Even if you're playing dress up for others, you can still add elements that take away some of the formality ... so the balance is perfectly yours.

Danielle said...

I am sure that what ever your wedding entails, it will be beautiful and suit you!

LesleyG said...

I have seen it done both ways, very coordinated, very rehearsed, very stressful (not necessarily a product of the coordination and rehearsing), and I've seen it done simply and relaxed. Which I'm sure you have too. I think that's the good thing, you can get as much of a production as you want.

I can't be trusted, though. I still want to elope. Or, my other plan is to just invite everyone to a "very special party" and then surprise! It's a wedding.
I'm going to lose my girl card for that, I suppose.

GeekHiker said...

Perhaps this is just a dude's perspective, but it always seems to me that the bigger the "show" gets, the less romantic it is. It's just like a movie, when all the production eclipses the actors, you know what I mean?

mom said...

It's not to impress the guests; but to share the joy and love with your friends, family and groom of the comittment you are making to spend your life together and the bond you have. It's over all too quickly, leaving only beautiful memories behind. Don't stress,
just enjoy every bit because regardless of any flaws,
it will go on and no one will notice.

Wow, that was awkward said...

I think most of the guests just worry about when the open bar is open.