Saturday night, Mr. Wonderful and I were getting ready for bed when I started to feel a little slap-happy. He was brushing his teeth when I made a funny face and smooshed my boobs together, mustering as much cleavage as I could by sliding my biceps along the sides of my chest.
"Looks like two hamburger patties," he said.
"You're telling me that my boobs look like flat little patties of ground meat?"
"Dude! No way to win over a woman!"
"I meant more like hamburger buns."
"And not just any old hamburger buns but like the big ones you buy at Costco."
"You're not really making it better."
I know, all the female readers are crushed that he's taken...