Tuesday, September 14, 2010

No Going Back Now


In my college creative writing class, I wrote a short screenplay about a girl on her wedding day. Like Elaine in The Graduate, my bride ran out on her nuptials. My script was called, "Out the Window." You can figure out how she escaped... If memory serves correctly, my instructor enjoyed the story so much he read it aloud to the rest of the class.

At 21, I was enamored with the idea of getting married. But on some level, it also terrified me.

I knew I hadn't lived enough to take a committal step as large as matrimony. I knew that if I settled down at a young age, I would always wonder about all the things I had missed. I remember even being afraid that if I married my college boyfriend of 4.5 years, I might cheat or end up divorced.

When the Evil Ex first brought up the topic, asking me "what I would say if he proposed," I instinctively told him I would say yes after he finished fire department probation. I stalled. Again, I knew on some level that I wasn't ready. Or that he wasn't right.

I have never felt this way with Mr. Wonderful. Only a few weeks into dating him, I had a dream that he popped the question. In my dream, I thought—"This feels pretty fast, but it also feels SO right." It's so amazing not to be afraid. Finally.

Last night we sent out save-the-date emails to most of our guest list. We have a website. This thing is official. There's no going back. And I wouldn't want it any other way.

13 comments:

Mr. W. said...

Yep, me either, Pumpkin.

Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks said...

Not sure which I love more ... your post and how you feel about Mr. W ... or Mr. W's response. You two are adorable - I couldn't be happier for you!

Sizzle said...

A date! HOORAY!

Feeling that sure? Feeling that the fear isn't there? That's IT. I'm so happy for you both. :-)

Mel Heth said...

W. - Italy.

Nilsa - You're funny. You make me want to hug you and The Belly. :)

Sizzle - It's pretty cool to not be scared. The scariest part is knowing how much he means to me. But that's another post...

brookem said...

i love it! so happy for you! i need to see this wedding site!

Jeff said...

When I got married, as my fiancé was walking down the aisle, my best man leaned over and whispered in my ear, "It's not too late." It was pretty funny. Until you've taken the vows and said "I do", there actually is going back if you want. To me, the beauty of your post is that you knew early on you'd never want to.

Mel Heth said...

Brookem - Done and done.

Jeff - It warms my heart every time I see your name around these parts. You gotta love a best man who will look out for you like that. :P

Jeff said...

He should've tried harder. I've been married 90 years now. Wait, did I say 90? I meant 19.

Wow, that was awkward said...

A website?! I can't believe you have a website. Wait. Yes I do.

Mel Heth said...

Jeff - So you're telling me you got married when you were 5? Wow, that's young.

WowTWA - The website is so out-of-town guests can get hotel information. Oh who am I kidding - it's so everyone can see where we're registered!!!

laura said...

Loved the save the date...but what I loved even more is how my parents totally cracked themselves up with my dad's response to you. The old people couldn't wait to tell me what they had done. :) Okay....I admit it was mildly funny, but not nearly what they gave themselves credit for.

Jeff said...

10 actually, but still young.

blakspring said...

where's the LIKE button? i want to press it multiple times :)