Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Aren't We All Just Looking for Our Sleepless in Seattle?

I'm listening to my ipod on shuffle right now where Nat King Cole is crooning "Stardust"—one of my favorites from the Sleepless in Seattle soundtrack.

That movie wrecked me when I was a teenager.

The way it so expertly proposed the possibility that there is magical love out there just waiting for us to find it.

I remember lying on the roof of my parents' motorhome one night during a camping trip, staring at the stars, wishing with every fiber of my adolescent being that I would find real love. The kind that made me want to use words like "magic" and "incredible" and "unconditional." My yearning felt as big as the sky. My fear that I would never actually find that kind of love felt equally as big.

I carried that fear with me through my 20s like a heavy cloak that hid me from the light of a Sleepless in Seattle love affair.

Thinking I wouldn't find it perpetuated the lack of it in my life. Then I turned 30. And went to therapy. And got cheated on.

Suddenly I realized I didn't just deserve the very best kind of love, I was going to find it. I was like a detective who was two clues away from solving the case. I was so close.

It didn't arrive at the top of the Empire State building, but Love did arrive. And it was better than I had imagined that night on the roof. Better than Sleepless in Seattle. And the best part about it is that the script is still playing itself out.

3 comments:

leafprobably said...

I'm still looking for my big love... I hope it gets here soon, I've been waiting for my empire-state-moment forever!

Sizzle said...

That's so sweet. I'm glad you found it!

And thank goodness for therapy, right?

Alysha said...

You gave me a dreamy little smile just now :)