Man Mad Libs

Dating a [thirsty] [rhinoceros] is like [playing] [tennis].

Don't you just love mad libs? They were one of my favorites as a kid. In fact, I believe there was a time I was playing them in junior high and I laughed so hard I peed my pants. Too bad it's not as funny when you fill in the blanks about a guy.

It's so incredibly easy to plug up men's holes with your own artificial personality traits. Do they like Broadway musicals? Of course they do! Are they patient with you when you want to shoe shop for 45 minutes? Sure thing! Do they floss regularly? Every night! It's like they're a shiny, new counter top and you're smiling away with your caulk gun, laying perfectly smooth filler in between all the tiles. But at some point, the mildew of reality is going to come seeping through. So it's better to avoid filling in the blanks altogether.

This can be a difficult tendency to overcome. We always want the person we're dating to be spinetinglingly close to perfection. We always hope that their stats align with our wish list. But the bottom line is, it's better to let them reveal their own characteristics, in their own time, than assume they are [honest], [nice] to [pilgrims] and [enjoy] [hopscotch].

And the worst thing you can do is voice your concerns. Because inevitably, they'll try to tell you that they're a certain way when they're not. I learned this one firsthand last year. Actions speak louder that words every time. Remember that, no matter how tempting it is to pick up that [Play-doh] and cram it in the spaces between their [chopsticks].