Remember back in high school or junior high or kindergarten when that one girl you hung out with got a boyfriend? And you and all your other friends suddenly had to deal with her flaking on you and talking about him all the time and carrying a lock of his chest hair around in her pencil case. And then she’d finally stop hanging out with you altogether because she was too busy making out with him in front of her locker and going to his water polo games, and eventually you’d barely even say hi to each other in the halls.
Yeah. I think I might be turning into that girl.
I’m beginning to find myself wanting to choose Mr. Wonderful all the time over my friends. I know, right? PUNCH ME IN THE FACE PLEASE.
It’s been a while since I’ve felt like this. A long while, actually. Like not since my first serious boyfriend (which I had in my early twenties, thanks to a near fatal case of the late bloomies). I remember being so infatuated with him, that I’d just want to be with him every minute and stare at him in awe like he was a newborn baby sporting one of those astonishing gas-induced smiles.
It was so long ago, I can’t remember if I pissed off my girlfriends in the process. Probably did. And I know for sure that I made him feel suffocated.
But I don’t think Mr. W is struggling for air. I think he likes having me around just as much as I like being around. I think he’s pleased when I cut plans short with my girlfriends and come over to play Rock Band with him. I don’t think he minds taking me with him to Home Depot or to look at new mountain bikes.
It’s funny because I actually thought I minded being with him all the time and not having my old single-life free-time oozing out of every crevice of the calendar. But then this past weekend, when I had an entire day to myself—to get all my chores and errands done and just bask in the quiet of my alone time—I found myself missing him.
By 2:00, I was sitting on the couch wondering what he was doing. ON MY ALONE TIME DAY! I was amused and frustrated with myself all in the same.
Is this normal, people? Am I supposed to be wanting to spend all my weekends hiking and biking and kissing with him? Is it wrong that I’m not craving girlfriend time—or worse—that I’m feeling blue during my own alone time?
I need some perspective please. Love makes me a little crazy.
19 comments:
I never heard of a kindergartner having chest hairs for his girlfriend to put in her pencil box.
This post made me feel verklempt. That should be all you need to know to know my opinion on the matter...
Yes, I believe you are both crazy and normal. It's the ability to identify that will save you from being punched in the face. :)
I really don't want to be the party pooper and say marry the dude, have some kids, celebrate a bunch of anniversaries and my god, you will die for that alone time!!!
So instead I'll just say your sappy love stories are sweet.
Anonymous - Whatever...aren't you just a super smartypants. I knew plenty of boys in kindergarten with chest hair.
GeekHiker - I'm hugging you and air punching you right now.
JustRun - Hmm I think I might need to BE punch in the face to identify crazy from normal.
Wow TWA - Hahaha is that the trick? Getting married? Hmm maybe I'll try that one day.
It's good that you miss him. It's when you stop missing him that there's trouble! BUT, I think that it's the time apart where you each have time to do things away from each other that adds so much to the relationship. And isn't half the fun the anticipation of playing kissy face again?
I think this is all very normal. And I don't want to scare/excite you by saying this is largely the emotions/actions I went through when I started dating and getting serious with Sweets. About your friends ... the good ones are happy for you and understand your absence. Just don't take it for granted too long. Stay in touch in other ways (phone, email, text, IM) and pull yourself away every once in a while to catch up. I found I enjoyed myself the most when my girlfriends and I started grabbing lunch instead of grabbing drinks - it took the whole "singlehood" atmosphere (something which I no longer associated with) out of the mix.
Awww, I think that is really sweet! And I know just what you meant - I did the same thing when I met my husband, and even now I sometimes think I should have more alone time but when I get it, I miss him. Normal!
Also, hi! I'm here on Dingo's recommendation. :)
Dingo - Yes being apart does make the kissy face together time even more fun. I'm sure that if I saw him every day for a long period of time, I wouldn't feel this way. I'd probably be glad to get rid of him. :P
Nilsa - You always have the best comments. This made me get a little butterfly-ee in my stomach. I am still staying in touch with everyone...I think I'm just a bit more thrifty with the actual "go out" time. I like your lunch idea!
Lara - Thanks for coming by! And double thanks for telling me I'm not a freak. :P
Oh this all sounds totaly normal to me. I went through the same stuff with matty. Awww, you're in love :)
first of all, let me say that i think what you and mr. wonderful have going on is really special. and im so happy that you have found that.
and i guess im the one answering this from the single girl perspective, the girl who has a gazillion girlfriends all coupled up, getting married, etc. i think as long as you still make some genuine time for your girlfriends, stay in touch and keep up with their lives, that's what matters. it doesn't have to be nights out with cocktails all of the time. hopefully you can find a happy medium with them.
and i dont think you're crazy or not normal. :)
I don't know how NOT to do this.
I think it's awesome that you have found someone that you are so crazy about and love spending time with. HOWEVER, I really hate my my friends get into a relationship and all the sudden they make no time for friends. It's difficult balancing both but I think it's really important. Plus, I think it makes a couple stronger when they don't spend every minute of every day together, that way you'll have new things to talk about and new stories to tell each other.
But you are totally normal. A lot of girls go through this but not all of them RECOGNIZE it (which is when you could end up losing friends). Just make sure you don't forget your girls who have been by your side through it all.
Hannah - Thanks, doll. It makes me feel better to hear this from my married friends. :)
Brookem - It's funny because most of my girlfriends are married and they totally get where I'm at. It's the single people in my life that are the struggle. I'm doing my best to keep up with everyone, and will continue to try...it's just hard when Mr. W is more fun than my girlfriends at times. :P
Mandy - That's what I'm sayin'!
LittleMissObsessive - I know - I hate that too. But being on this side, I can now see why friends did that. Most of my girlfriends are married, so they don't mind. I think if I saw my guy every day, it'd be a different story - I'd be happy to give up time with him. But right now, that's not the case, so it's a tough balancing act.
No way, man, you're in THE HAZE! That point in the relationship when you wear his sweaters just so you have his smell near you. When you watch movies you hate to have an excuse to get wrapped in his big, strong arms.
Enjoy The Haze, but definately carve out some lady-time. Because you'll need them on those days when another lifted toilet seat, perpetually open cabinet doors, or burns a hole in The Haze.
I think this my dear is called the honeymoon phase - which let me tell you is amazing. But it eventually wears off. That's when you'll crave your girl time. I feel like I'm going through the opposite right now, and the H is none too happy about it. I feel like I need CONSTANT girl time. I guess when it comes down to it, it's all about finding a happy medium. You'll get there.
Just so I'm not mistaken for the super sweet lara that commented above, I agree with Wow TWA. I lock myself in my room for alone time. No kids, no husband and I am soooo happy!
lara, I wish your story was mine :)
I have to say that when I read the comment from Lara#1, I was huh? LOL Love you Lud!
Congratulations! I am so happy for you! Love it and live it!
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