Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Better than Bacon Chocolate Bars


When I was in 7th grade, I had a near-death experience.

It was a warm, early summer evening at the Universal Amphitheater in LA. My friend Rachel and I were wearing scrunchies in our hair, denim shorts, and t-shirts under floral vests. (I believe Rachel’s vest was black with purple and blue flowers and mine was off-white with pink and yellow, because we had to assert our individuality like that.) I had retainers. She had braces. And we both had a light beading of sweat under our aquanetted bangs from dancing in our seats to Tiffany.

Finally, the lights went down. The music started up. And then Donnie, Danny, Jordan, Jonathan and Joey took the stage in a fury of teenage testosterone and musical prowess. It was breathtaking. I saw a bright light and felt angels’ wings flapping lightly around my head.

I leaned over to Rachel and gasped, “I think. I’m going. To faint.”

I didn’t really think I was going to faint, but it seemed like the right thing to say in the situation. After all, I’d been clipping NKOTB pictures out of Teen Beat and BOP magazine all year to compile my NKOTB scrapbook. Seeing them in person definitely felt like a valid reason to break into some sort of fit or at least an uncontrollable drooling spell.

Yesterday, a mere 20 years after that incident, I found myself on youtube, seeking out The Kids’ new video. I popped in my earbuds, turned up the sound, and then sat grinning like a 12-year-old through the entire Summertime video.

Donnie’s hair looks like it might be sprayed on. Danny is a bit roided out. I'm pretty sure Jonathan is gay. (Doesn't every boy band have one gay member? Haha I typed member...) Really only Joey looks like he belongs in the video, but oh what a joy it was to watch them back in action.

Back Street’s Back All Right. Pardon me, while I go beat myself over the head with a filing cabinet.

15 comments:

brookem said...

you going to see them in concert?!

god, TEEN BEAT magazine!!! hahaha!

laura said...

you were way cooler than my sister and me...we were only into Billy Idol, Michael Jackson and Madonna.

big sister said...

Hmmm...The New Kids on the Block, are now the Older Men on the Block. Looks like they might be having a boy band mid-life crisis to me, after watching that video.

Nilsa S. said...

While I won't admit to going to see any boy bands in concert this year ... I am going to see Madonna this fall ... in New York City ... she's ageless!

justrun said...

Ah, man, if I only still had my New Kids sleeping bag today!

Dingo said...

I wasn't into NKOTB when they were initially on the scene (Geez,how old am I? "On the scene?") But now, in an effort to reclaim my lost youth and some cool cache, I'm sooo getting into the formerly-boy-now-geriatric-band.

Anita said...

My love of boy bands came later in life (call me a late bloomer). I never liked NKOTB but I LOVED Backstreet Boys and N'Sync.

Mel, my bf works for the company who reps "new and improved" NKOTB so if you & rachel want tickets to the reunion show, let me know...cuz I'm sure as hell not going to go! :)

geekhiker said...

Better than bacon? No way.

Remember, the secret to bacon is that it improves everything. It can be added to any meal of the day or to practically any dish. So what you really need to complete the picture is this: bacon-wrapped-NKOTB.

And just because I can, I'll add this: http://incredimazing.com/page/Bacon_Flowchart

Lara said...

I am so happy about your BSB (that's Backstreet Boys to you) reference. I feel like we have crossed a little boy-band understanding bridge and maybe you would pee a little if you went to their concert.

Mel Heth said...

Brookem - You have no idea... I was mildly obsessed.

Laura - Cooler? Um no. I so remember Leah's poster of the Cure. Robert Smith scared me as a kid.

Big Sister - They're totally mid-life crisising, but they still brought joy to my heart.

Nilsa - Madonna IS ageless! I saw her in 2001. Great show. Have fun!!

Just Run - A NKOTB sleeping bag?! I would've sold my hair for that.

Dingo - Boy bands are right for any age. Proud you're converting!

Anita - I might take you up on that. Although I'm not sure if I can handle "near fainting" again...

GeekHiker - Um is it wrong that I want to marry that bacon flow chart?

Lara - So I can't really call myself a true fan. I confused my boy bands and thought (I don't know how because their freaking name is in the lyrics) I was typing a NKOTB song. Retarded, I know. I was thinking "New Kids Back All Right." Pardon my slip.

laura said...

LOL...Forgot about the Cure!! Robert Smith still scares me.

Michael C said...

And that's how I felt watching Wayne and Garth reunited the other night. Oh crap, I'm about to start singing Peaches and Herb...

Michael C said...

And I'm still not sure anything surpasses bacon chocolate bars...
;-)

big sister said...

Lara-
You call ME, if you're going to a Backstreet Boys Concert - you know I get it. Melissa's never had any Howie dreams.

semichrmd said...

Oh my God - so true, down to the spray on hair and steroids. And is it me or has Jordan not aged a day??? You know of my fondness for these boys, awkward video or not it still makes me smile.