Sunday, June 21, 2009

Digging in the Dad Archives

I spent Father’s Day with all the important men in my life (sans Mr. W of course), enjoying a lovely breakfast with my dad and brother-in-law, then having dinner with my brother.

During breakfast, the family broke into funny stories from the past, and when my mom pulled out this gem for my cousins, I knew I had to post it.

About ten or twelve years ago, my parents went to visit some friends in Arizona. The guest room they stayed in had no windows, which wasn’t a problem for my claustrophobic mother, but turned into an issue for my dad…

The two of them went to bed, I’m sure at an early hour, and were sleeping peacefully when suddenly my dad woke up. He blinked. Nothing. He held his hand out in front of him. Nothing. He became nervous and shot up in bed.

“Are you blind?!” he whisper-shrieked to my sleeping mom—apparently thinking maybe if he had gone blind in his sleep, she had too.

“What?”

“Are you blind? I think I’ve gone blind! I'm BLIND!”

Rather than being concerned about my father’s sudden lack of eyesight, my mother immediately began worrying about how they would get home from Arizona—because she doesn’t drive on the freeway.

Thinking quick, likely due to the panic of potential freeway driving, she said, “Did you try turning on the light?”

My dad fumbled for the light switch.

And suddenly HE COULD SEE AGAIN.

My mom says he was all shaky and sweaty, sitting on the edge of the bed in his tightie whites. Apparently he forgot that if you sleep in a room with no windows, there is a high likelihood that it will get very, very dark in the room…

He spent the rest of the evening clicking on a flashlight next to his pillow. And we bought him Braille Christmas cards that year.

Just another Hetherington family favorite story…

Had my brother-in-law known what we were up to last night, he probably would have wished he were suffering from Arizona-onset blindness, too. After a few margaritas and way too much giggling with the cousins, my sister, nieces and I got our hands on a Depends undergarment and decided to do a sleeping photo shoot with my bro-in-law.

No, we didn’t strip him down and put in on him… Instead, I shimmied out of my True Religions and into the diaper and positioned my Pampery butt near his sleeping face while my sister snapped away with the digital camera. I’ve made my sister promise not to post the pictures on Facebook. We’ll see if she wants to ruin my life or not…

6 comments:

laura said...

Hilarious. We were still rehashing the going blind story last night!! And I hope Big Sis posts the depends pics...because they are priceless!

Mel Heth said...

Laura - You know that in addition to going blind, he's been struck by lightning, seen space ships and had an out of body experience, right? He may be related to some of your dad's unstable siblings after all!

Big Sister said...

I wish I could remember how to post things on here - you did give me the directions one time. That picture is my new favorite picture of you....Skinny bird legs emerging from a bulging Depend (dry, thank God!) but with your turqoise blue cardigan on the top half. You better be extra nice to me....

mom said...

You may have just lost a few of your readers from this one. They are going to think this family is really "nuts"! I notice so far the only commments are from family members. However - I still laugh every time I think of these adventures with the family.

Amy Turpin said...

That story is Hilarious!! I'm sitting here trying to not laugh too hard and wake up my kids and hubby. Thanks...I needed a good laugh.

Mel Heth said...

Sister - maybe someday I'll post the Depends picture just from the shoulders down.

Mom - I think the post would have been better if we had videoed you telling the story. It's much more dramatic that way.

Amy - Awe so glad to make you laugh! If you saw the Depends pictures, you'd really be laughing...