I remember watching my sister in action when my eldest niece, C, was first learning to read. She would let C struggle and sound-out until she got each word right, when all I wanted to do was yell, “Exasperated! It says exasperated!”
I’m one of those people who would rather just do things myself than watch someone fumble to get them right.
I also like instant gratification. Mr. Wonderful and I will occasionally have debates over various topics and thank God he has an iPhone so we can look up the answer online immediately rather than wait until we’re all the way back home.
Although I consider myself a lover of people, I often feel the hair on my neck stand on end when someone’s charming quirk makes itself known over and over again in my presence. I just have no patience for that stuff…
Awareness is the first step to recovery, right?
Over the years, I’ve tried to make strides with my unfortunate, intolerant attitude. I make it a point to let kids try to sound out a word a couple times or find the right puzzle piece before I blurt out, “That piece goes right here.” I’ve completely gotten over being impatient in line at the grocery store and Disneyland. (Traffic is about a 50/50 split). And I’ve suppressed panic attacks in my relationship over “what we are” and where this is going.” (Thank you, Therapy.)
However, my love of instant gratification lingers. And I feel that right now I’m receiving lessons left and right on how to sit tight and let things unfold in their own time.
Every morning, I wait for Mr. W to send me an IM. On the weekends, I wait for him to tell me when he’s available to Skype. And in between visits, I wait with antsy hands and lips for the next smother and smoochfest.
It’s been 4 weeks since I told my boss I was leaving for the UK and he has yet to inform me what his decision is on my job fate. So I wait.
Given Mr. W’s reaction to wedding and kids talk, I’m pretty certain I have a nice long wait in front of me for those things too.
Sometimes I’m able to remind myself to just stay in the moment and forget that I’m even waiting. I try to be patient. But other times, I want to run around my block 50 times screaming, “Hurry up! Hurry up! Hurry up!”
It’s funny how the universe always gives you what you need to get where you want to be. I want to be patient…and so I wait.