Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Patience is a Virtue…I’m Lacking

I remember watching my sister in action when my eldest niece, C, was first learning to read. She would let C struggle and sound-out until she got each word right, when all I wanted to do was yell, “Exasperated! It says exasperated!”

I’m one of those people who would rather just do things myself than watch someone fumble to get them right.

I also like instant gratification. Mr. Wonderful and I will occasionally have debates over various topics and thank God he has an iPhone so we can look up the answer online immediately rather than wait until we’re all the way back home.

Although I consider myself a lover of people, I often feel the hair on my neck stand on end when someone’s charming quirk makes itself known over and over again in my presence. I just have no patience for that stuff…

Awareness is the first step to recovery, right?

Over the years, I’ve tried to make strides with my unfortunate, intolerant attitude. I make it a point to let kids try to sound out a word a couple times or find the right puzzle piece before I blurt out, “That piece goes right here.” I’ve completely gotten over being impatient in line at the grocery store and Disneyland. (Traffic is about a 50/50 split). And I’ve suppressed panic attacks in my relationship over “what we are” and where this is going.” (Thank you, Therapy.)

However, my love of instant gratification lingers. And I feel that right now I’m receiving lessons left and right on how to sit tight and let things unfold in their own time.

Every morning, I wait for Mr. W to send me an IM. On the weekends, I wait for him to tell me when he’s available to Skype. And in between visits, I wait with antsy hands and lips for the next smother and smoochfest.

It’s been 4 weeks since I told my boss I was leaving for the UK and he has yet to inform me what his decision is on my job fate. So I wait.

Given Mr. W’s reaction to wedding and kids talk, I’m pretty certain I have a nice long wait in front of me for those things too.

Sometimes I’m able to remind myself to just stay in the moment and forget that I’m even waiting. I try to be patient. But other times, I want to run around my block 50 times screaming, “Hurry up! Hurry up! Hurry up!”

It’s funny how the universe always gives you what you need to get where you want to be. I want to be patient…and so I wait.


Caroline said...

For whatever reason, I hear "You can't always get what you want" in my head right now . . . .

laura said...

I'm with you on this one...I have NO patience....especially when it comes to life altering events. I want to know NOW. Good luck! You will have your asnwers soon enough.

Sizzle said...

I am absolutely the same way and things right now are truly testing my patience.


Breathe deeper.


Alysha said...

Patience is tough! I feel like I am constantly given lessons to learn that virtue, but I constantly resist it as well! Best of Luck!

SoMi's Nilsa said...

I'm with ya on this post. The nice thing about being in my 30's is that so many of the things that drove me crazy in my 20's now just roll off my back. I like to say we mellow with age.

Mel Heth said...

Caroline - Fitting tune. :)

Laura - Maybe it's in our genes?

Sizzle - They need to invent special deep breathing just for Aries children.

Alysha - Yeah it seems there are tons of lessons around us when we stop and look for them.

Nilsa - You're like a fine wine. :)

justrun said...

I am just like this lately. I have always been impatient, but GEEEZ! Lately it's driving me crazy.

Braden Matthew Johnson said...

I am not a blog reader. Actually, I don't like reading at all. I browse my friends' blogs simply to see their photos. Somehow, you got me hooked. I love reading the Melissaisms...always funny, often enlightening. Just what I need at the end of a long day!

Anonymous said...

What, what? "The universe always gives you what you need to get where you want to be?" Really? The Ex? The 29YO? Jury duty girl? I think I need to have a talk with the universe. The universe has some 'splainin to do!

Anonymous said...

I hear you, girlfriend! I'd like to add though that running around the block screaming still burns a few minutes and gets you closer to your goal. Sometimes it's just the right thing to do! Work up a sweat, vent a little and then you'll be able to sit still and be rational again. Hey, it's worked well for me lately - LOL! hugs, K